(wind rustling) (birds chirping) (footsteps plodding) (people chatting indistinctly) (rattle rattling) - [Speaker] You guys ready?

You wanna play a song?

- Okay.

- All right.

(tribal music) (rattle rattling) (people chanting) (people chanting) We got beautiful mountains out here.

(people chanting) You know, when I started really giving a shit about our tribe and the future, especially my generation, we've been constantly climate change right on our mind.

All our lives we saw.

So, you know, I see more people my age talking about buffalo and the importance of buffalo.

(people chanting) You know, we got the river coming through here and everything north of it was opened up to settlement, you know?

All this is north of the river where, you know, the settlement happened and now there's buffalo stomping here.

So, to me, that's decolonization, you know, that's land back.

We might have to become a little bit more open about our culture so that we can ensure survival.

(people chanting) - It has to start with these buffalo healing the land and then in turn, you know, beginning to heal his people.

(people chanting) (tribal music) - Good job, guys.

- So, is there a responsibility for kids to learn these things?

In my opinion, yes.

Let me shake your hand.

There's a responsibility to your family.

There's a responsibility to your tribe.

There's a responsibility to learn the language, traditions.

And that is how I would've described those warriors back then.

They're patient, they took care of themselves, but then they also took care of others.

That's what made them warriors.

And that's the warriors dance.

Better give you war hoop.

(kids chanting) ♪ Do you know my Indian name ♪ - So, I just talking to like right here, - [Interviewer] Right here, right there.

- I'm all nervous.

(Carmen laughing) (clapperboard thudding) ♪ Warrior blood flows through my veins ♪ - There are a lot of native misconceptions, like being a drunk or you're stupid.

- I think they think we're mean.

(speaker chuckling) They think that we're extinct and we're just in the history books.

- There's also some funny questions, like if I can speak to animals, "Oh, can you tell me what my dreams mean?"

- A warrior is somebody who's willing to do whatever they can to help their people.

- I just want people to know that like we're all cool.

We're normal people out here.

We're just living life trying to get by.

♪ Do you know my Indian name ♪ (dramatic music) (wind rustling) - [Speaker] This is an awfully strong group of women.

- Native American women are the most strongest in the whole planet.

They keep the traditions and the language, then the guys just go out there and die.

(group laughing) - I mean like in our tribe, like in almost every tribe, women are looked at as the backbone of the people.

You know, like they're the ones that bear the babies.

They're the ones that take care of the camp.

They're the ones that, you know, watch the kids, that gather.

They're the ones that mainly do everything.

The men, they're our protectors.

They're the ones that are supposed to be there for us, but it's like nowadays woman have to look out for woman.

- Usually, the guys around there usually, have cut hair and like pants then acting like gangsters.

They're acting like somebody they're not.

- [Interviewer] Well, how come there aren't more guys like him?

- I wish there were.

- Because they're struggling- - That's why- - with addiction.

- I wouldn't be single.

- [Interviewer] You wouldn't be single?

- I wouldn't be single, if there were more guys like that.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- They care what people think.

They don't wanna stand out.

- [Interviewer] You know, what this would be, if we were to do this is we would follow your lives, you know, over time.

Would you feel that you'd be willing to reveal yourselves?

- Yeah.

(group laughing) - My major is nursing.

- And you wanna be a nurse?

- Yes.

You're planning on that?

- Determined.

I would like to at least work in the senior citizens' homes and like help our elders.

- I've really wanted to go into the medical field.

So, that's a huge thing.

And I also considered going into a business school so I could help for the business council, if I can actually, become a leader for our tribe.

- I'm not going to college.

I'm actually, preparing myself to go to Marine Corps bootcamp this coming September.

- A lot of people wanna leave the reservation, but it's like after you get your education, it's not like you have to come back, but you want to.

It's kind of like what our duty is to come back here.

(gentle music) (wind rustling) - We are at Fort Washakie Hill, which is located on the Wind River Reservation.

Anybody who grew up here, you knew Fort Washakie Hill.

But I just love it, because it's a place where I can decompress.

(hooves thundering) The Wind River Reservation is home to two tribes, the Northern Arapaho and the Eastern Shoshone.

My mother is Shoshone and my dad's Arapaho.

So, this is a place where I grew up.

The reservation is roughly 2 million acres, which is a lot of land.

Part of the Rocky Mountain area, so it's very mountainous.

There's various different wilderness here as well.

You know, deer, moose, elk, and it's very beautiful here.

Like that's the number one thing.

(gentle music) (birds chirping) The Wind River Reservation is located in Central Wyoming, and it's sprawling.

We only have a few small towns and some sub-communities.

This is Ethete, considered the headquarters at the Northern Arapaho tribe.

So, this is the Northern Arapaho Tribal Office.

This is where the government does the day-to-day operations of the tribe.

(gentle music) (wind rustling) This is Fort Washakie.

So, Fort Washakie is considered the headquarters for the Eastern Shoshone tribe, but also, it's kind of like a little hub for the tourists, because it's on the way to Jackson Hole and Yellowstone.

In terms of population, there's about 10,000 enrolled Northern Arapahos and about 4,000 Eastern Shoshone enrolled members.

Our people do go through a lot, the housing shortage, the drugs and alcohol.

There's a lot of trauma here.

There's a lot of poverty here.

Those things that affect the rest of America affect here too, but it's just like 10 times harder, because we're such an isolated entity and isolated place.

This whole reservation system was never designed for us to thrive as Arapaho and Shoshone people.

(somber music) Historically, the reservation was Shoshone land.

The territory extended from here into Utah, Nevada, Idaho, and down into California's Death Valley region.

The Arapaho, a neighboring tribe, were enemies of the Shoshone.

They lived on land here in Wyoming, down to Colorado, and all the way across to the Great Lakes.

The Shoshone and the Arapaho were both Plains Indians.

The Shoshone were nomadic hunting tribe, more matrilineal.

The Arapaho were originally an agricultural tribe and more patrilineal.

Each tribe has its own distinct language, and customs, and traditions.

In 1868, the US Government pushed the Shoshone out of their ancestral lands of over 44 million acres onto this reservation.

(car door thudding) Chief Washakie was the Shoshone chief who really made this reservation possible.

He was a really good negotiator.

He had the foresight to see that no matter what tribes did that the white people were gonna come here no matter what, and that the reservation system was gonna hit in place no matter what.

So, I think he had enough foresight to be like, okay, let's negotiate a land that's going to be beneficial to the tribe's survival here in the Warm Valley along the Wind River.

(gentle music) But just two years later, the government forced the Shoshones to share the reservation with their old enemies, the Arapaho.

It's not hard to figure out that they put two warring tribes together on one piece of land in the hopes that one would kill off the other.

What ultimately, happened was they became allies together creating the reservation we now call home, Wind River.

(suspenseful music) - I'm enrolled Northern Arapaho.

- I'm Eastern Shoshone.

- I'm part of the Northern Arapaho tribe.

- I am Eastern Shoshone.

- I'm both tribes.

- I'm an enrolled member of the Northern Arapaho tribe, but I'm also Eastern Shoshone.

I kind of do refer to myself as like Shorap.

(upbeat music) - And we all have blood from the chiefs that ran this country, you know, before it was labeled America.

Our ancestors were all here.

I am named after Chief Goes In Lodge.

He was an Arapaho chief from my dad's side.

I look at him and Chief Black Coal and Chief Sharp Nose and Chief Washakie, all of them as very important figures, because they help lead us to the point where we have what we do.

Your ancestors go with you no matter where you are.

And I think native youth, they already have all the qualities within them to lead us to great things.

(somber music) (reel swooshing) - That didn't go far at all.

- Let me help you.

- Yeah.

I am Halle Robinson.

I'm 16, oh, 17.

No, yeah, 17, sorry.

(Halle chuckling) I forgot my age.

Okay, I am enrolled Northern Arapaho.

I'm also Eastern Shoshone.

- [Ronnie] Like this.

- Okay, show off.

When I was younger, my mom left for college, 'cause she was a teen mom.

So, I lived with my grandpa.

I'm super close with him.

I could talk to him about anything and he'll understand and he'll listen to me.

- Whoa.

There you go.

- I'm gonna try to catch one before you do.

(Halle and Ronnie chuckling) I'm very adventurous, athletic, and I've been a varsity starter since my freshman year for volleyball.

For me, school is easy.

As of right now I have a GPA of 4.2, so I'm hoping to keep it that way.

I'm hoping to get tons of scholarships.

(Halle chuckling) - Have you decided where you want to go to school yet, or have you got places in mind?

- I don't know.

I got an email from Yakima Valley College in Washington.

- Wow.

- They want me to go do a volleyball camp over there.

- Well, what are you doing here?

- [Halle] Fishing.

(Halle laughing) I don't know.

- Yeah.

- And I was also looking to go to Casper.

- It's too close to home.

- You think so?

- Yeah.

I want you to be successful in the non-Indian terms.

- Yeah.

- Financially stable I guess is the way to say it, 'cause it's not about making all a lot of money.

Money is too important to them.

The more money you make, the more you want and you're never happy.

But that's not how we were raised.

In our Arapaho ways, if one succeeds, we all succeed.

I think that's why we don't have any wealthy Arapahos, but we share with everything that we have with everyone.

Oh, you gotta fish, you gotta fish.

- Oh, I do?

- Pull it, pull it, pull it.

Hard, hard.

(Halle chuckling) - For me personally, I think leaving the res would be great to get like a better education, and I do plan on coming back.

I just, I wanna see the rest of the world first.

The gills are, I just don't wanna.

So hopefully, Hudda is gonna be by my side like the whole time.

- Let's go, Halle.

Come on.

You're on one.

Setback shot.

(Hallie and Hudda laughing) - [Halle] I can't block those.

Hudda and I, we were kind of like high school sweethearts.

It was like the end of like my freshman year.

We were at a basketball tournament.

I don't know, we just like started talking there and all of his sister's friends like had a pretty big crush on Hudda.

I never thought I had a chance though.

But no, like, we did kind of just click.

(Hudda groaning) - My name is Hudda Curry, and I'm an enrolled Northern Arapaho.

Basketball to me, it's pretty much my life.

I've loved it for as long as I can remember.

Like what I'm gonna try and do is go through college, play basketball, and after that, hopefully be professional.

You know what I mean?

Get paid to play, like that's always the goal.

Like getting all that money and come back to the reservation and give back to my people.

That's what my future is.

I see me being successful with my family beside me.

No excuses now.

- [Halle] We've been together for two years and I know we want to be together in the future.

- If you make it, I'll give you $100.

Nevermind.

Nevermind.

- There's your hat.

- Good shot.

- After how many.

I know, I know.

- First make of the day.

- Can we ask them?

- We'll have to ask them to be a little.

Go ahead.

- My name is Ra'el Ireland Trosper.

I'm 17, I am Northern Arapaho and Eastern Shoshone and I go to Wyoming Indian High School.

My grandma on my dad's side, she's a direct descendant of Chief Washakie.

(Ra'el speaking in Native language) - [Interviewer] What'd you say?

- It's the most important thing in school.

Can I go to the bathroom?

(Interviewer chuckling) They'd say I'm quiet, but I am a hard worker, a good learner, a leader.

I'm growing, reaching for bigger things.

I'm going to college.

I'm gonna learn something that will help build up this community.

We can become a great community, a strong community as Native Americans.

As not just Native Americans, but someone will look at this reservation and say, "Hey, those are the Northern Arapahos and those are the Eastern Shoshones."

(upbeat music) (upbeat music continues) ♪ You crack the red shape shift and trek ♪ ♪ The best again ♪ (upbeat music) - Thank you for that.

- Personally, I don't think of myself as a woman.

I don't think of myself as a guy.

I'm just trying to find a place in between the two.

So, this is the Honorary Cowboy Award and it means that I have been noticed by the Associated Students of the University of Wyoming for portraying a cowboy up spirit.

It's overcoming an obstacle that really affects your life, but you come back and you come back better.

(somber music) I've experienced loss and I've experienced mental illness.

First, I lost my brother, he was murdered in Riverton, and then it was my father within the same year.

He got into a car accident during the summertime.

(birds chirping) I'm going to go to Laramie as an undergraduate for architectural engineering.

I think the greatest obstacle in my life right now is transitioning into adulthood, because suddenly I've gotta do things on my own, 'cause it's stressful and I'm scared, but something I have to do.

(birds squawking) (somber music) (birds chirping) - My name is Darious Tillman.

My Shoshone name and my Arapaho name is Center Pole.

In Shoshone, it's (Darious speaking Shoshone) Darious Tillman.

That being said, I'm both tribes.

My mom is Arapaho and my dad is Shoshone.

I come from this long family of very spiritual people and that really played a role in my life.

(gentle drumming music) So, this is my room, My door here, I've decorated it with so many of the spiritual people who I read, the people who just really inspire me.

This picture is special.

This is kind of like a lunch in Fort Washakie.

You know, they're sitting around, looks like a wall tent house where they would sleep and you know, they're just sitting there having a meal together.

That picture's very special.

The bravery of my ancestors, that's really what inspires me, and I think should inspire many native people.

Hmm.

I like this one, "The Musical Experience of Five Shoshone Women".

(Darious singing Shoshone) (Darious singing Shoshone) Growing up, I predominantly grew up on the Arapaho side of the reservation and I grew up around my Arapaho family.

And when I was finally able to drive freely, I made the decision to go visit my grandma on my Shoshone side.

(Ina speaking Shoshone) (Ina speaking Shoshone) (Ina speaking Shoshone) - There's a great deal of love I have for my grandma.

Reconnecting with my Shoshone side has fit like a glove.

And I'd go talk to her about really the Shoshone way of life.

She's taught me many Shoshone words.

She's taught me practically how to speak the language.

- It was different from way back when I grew up.

We learned what our elders teach us.

So that's how we, you know, we know these dances and all these sun dances and, you know, 'cause our elders from way back they always tell us take care of, you know, whatever traditional they teach you.

Just keep it and show it to the young ones.

- I guess, what are your thoughts on the future of the language?

(Darious chuckling) (Ina speaking Shoshone) - Hardly nobody speaks it no more so.

- The young ones don't really care to speak it too.

Even my grandkids too, they don't even talk Shoshone.

- [Darious] I'm the only one.

- The only one.

- The only one.

- [Ina] You're the only one.

- How do you think we go about fixing that?

- You gotta go fix it to be councilman.

(somber music) (people chanting) (tribal music) (people chanting continues) (tribal music continues) (people chanting continues) (tribal music continues) - All my relatives, my grandchildrens, we're all related.

We need to be together like this.

Support one another.

Yeah, 'cause we're having a hard time right now.

So, we need to, you know, teach our kids our tradition and if not, you know, our tradition's gonna fade away.

- [Announcer] On behalf of the Eastern Shoshone Entertainment Committee, the powwow committee here, we'd like to thank Grandma Ina Tillman.

Now, moving on to our high school graduates.

Graduating from Lander Valley High School, Antonio Coando.

(gentle upbeat music) Graduating from Lander Valley High School, Gabriela St.

Clair.

- I'm Gabby St.

Clair.

I'm an enrolled Eastern Shoshone member.

Can I redo that?

- Yes.

(people laughing) - I'm Gabby St.

Clair.

I'm Eastern Shoshone, and I'm 18.

- Congratulations.

- [Announcer] One more round of applause for our Eastern Shoshone tribal members who graduated from high school.

- [Speaker] They said we couldn't do it.

- Knowledge is key.

Back then as a warrior, you had to have physical traits that were like better than the others.

And nowadays, it's just like the more you know, the more knowledgeable you are, the more of a warrior you are.

- [Announcer] The values of hard work, the values of honesty, determination, sacrifice.

- [Gabby] That's why I was so happy to see how many people graduated, how many people got 4.0s.

I was like so proud of everyone.

I was like, holy cow, this is my generation.

These are my people that are gonna help.

- [Announcer] It makes our elders feel good to see all these graduates.

For education is the way.

Education is the power that our people need to find the resources that we might continue to build a promising future for our next generation.

- A lot of the work that's required in our world today is gonna have to come from your generation.

- Yeah.

- Because you wanna make sure you pay it forward for the next generations that follow you.

- I believe that our generation's gonna do it.

Well, sister, I don't usually make fry bread, but it's time for this.

- Yes.

- Yeah, bro, you gonna get dirty for this.

- [Jordan] I've never made any of this.

- Really?

- Yes.

- Did you teach her all that?

- [Lynette] I did.

- Everything your mom does is good.

- Aw, mom.

My dad, he, when I grew up, he used to be on the council.

With my mom, she actually got her degree, decided to go back to school and became a Shoshone language teacher.

It was always ingrained in me that I was gonna go to college no matter what.

And then now we're gonna get lukewarm water.

- [Jordan] Is that the secret?

- Yeah, that's what grandma said.

Look at this.

More flour, did I do that thing again?

- Little bit more flour in there.

(oil sizzling) - [Jordan] This is gonna be a good fry bread.

But we gotta use the fork to poke the top.

- No, I do it a different way.

Oh my gosh, whose fry bread show is this?

(all laughing) Oh my gosh.

(Ula speaking Shoshone) - We all have to succeed off the reservation so we could come back to help our community.

That's how I was raised.

(Ula speaking Shoshone) (Carmen speaking Shoshone) (Ula speaking Shoshone) - Matthew and I got married when he went to bootcamp.

We actually, first got together when we were 13.

Matthew was my best friend.

I'm slowly packing up my own room to move with my husband in a place I've never been in North Carolina.

And I'm really, I'm a little worried.

What I'm worried about is my elders back here.

(Ula speaking Shoshone) I'm really close to my grandmother and my sisters.

I'm not really close with my mom, and that never bothered me, because she chose alcohol over me.

My father did the same too, but it doesn't affect me much, because I didn't really need my parents to succeed.

(people chatting indistinctly) - I also come from a long generations of hoop dancers.

You really feel the spirit when you dance.

It's my great-grandmother.

I do this dance for her now.

(tribal music) (people chanting) (tribal music) (people chanting) (Taylee speaking Shoshone) - Hello, my name is Taylee Dresser.

My name is Yellow Dress given to me by my late grandpa, Harold Smith.

And I am 16 years old.

This year, I actually, started taking pre-calculus and trig at my high school.

So, I'm taking a college class right now.

I plan on becoming an attorney for tribal people.

So, I see myself doing that and I see myself traveling to powwows, 'cause I love to dance and just living my best life.

When I was younger I had a normal childhood, but I feel like after my stepdad left, I definitely had to grow up faster.

He like physically hurt my mom, and I seen him do it.

So, that was the moment I was like, okay, I gotta step up.

Like I gotta not let this happen again.

And so, I basically, became like a second mom for my little brothers and sisters.

(somber music) I dance, and I dance prayer dances, so hoop dancing and jingle.

So, I feel like that's really been helping me stay on the right path.

When I'm dancing, I feel at peace.

Everything goes away, all your problems, all your anxiety, it just disappears.

We're trying to fight off something that has been here for ages and we see things that the adults don't see.

- So, I'm happy that Taylee is gonna move away.

That's what I hope I just, I want them to be like uncle and see the world and see what else is out there.

- Yeah, see I think that my uncle is like a great example of leaving and coming back.

- Yeah.

- Like DC I don't think any of us are gonna meet the president.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Like Jordan.

Yeah, president.

- [Taylee] So, Jordan got.

- I see a lot of the pressures that young people have.

They're trying to figure out who they are and what they want to do with their lives.

They're trying to find love, they're trying to find jobs, they're trying to do these different things that everybody else wants as well, but there's this added pressure to them.

And I think that's what separates them from white kids.

Is I don't think white kids don't get sit down and be told, "You're gonna be very important for your people one day."

(gentle upbeat music) ♪ I was a young man ♪ ♪ And I was on my own ♪ ♪ In a land of war ♪ ♪ In a sheepskin coat ♪ ♪ Set a heart on fire ♪ ♪ Gonna watch it burn ♪ ♪ In the dead of night ♪ ♪ In this cold, dark earth ♪ (gentle upbeat music) (birds chirping) (wind rustling) (upbeat music) - This is where I grew up at my grandparents' house with my mom and my stepdad, Tyrell.

This used to be our room right here.

This is where we all like stayed, and we all slept in one bed.

I had like a little tiny bed that was like right next to them and it was like a little toddler bed.

So, like I was like around a lot of my family growing up.

Like I felt like I was like kind of sheltered as a kid, which is like a good thing and a bad thing I feel like.

Like I didn't know life beyond the reservation really.

(somber music) Well, I always wanted to play a college sport, like play at the collegiate level, because I did have the option to go play volleyball after I got outta high school, but I could have played basketball as well.

So, I would've had a dual scholarship here at Central Wyoming College.

Me and Hudda wanted to move in together and he was playing basketball for Casper College at the time and I decided to go to Casper College.

I felt like going to Casper and living with Hudda was what I wanted.

It would've been awesome to go play college for a little bit and then move in together.

(birds chirping) But I dunno, hopefully, there's still a chance for me to play again.

(birds chirping) When I started college, I think my stepdad was like a huge motivation for me.

Like to go into like the medical field or like healthcare field.

My dad wasn't really a part of my life.

My stepdad, Tyrell, he was there for everything.

All of my basketball games, like any of my school activities, like all of my events, like he made me into the person I am today, honestly.

This was his necklace actually.

Yeah.

(somber music) Well, he got diagnosed in January and then he passed in July.

I remember FaceTiming him, me and my mom, and his kidneys were failing at the time.

It kind of got like cut off, you know what I mean?

Just being like all the monitors like started to go off and stuff.

So, they're like, okay, like we have to go now, and then, so like really quick.

I was like, "I love you dad."

And the last thing he ever said to me was, "I love you too."

And it just replays in my head.

Like I just remember telling him I loved him so much and that I didn't want him to leave me and that I just, I wasn't ready for him to go yet, like I still needed him.

And that's like how I feel right now.

Like to this day, like I still feel the same pain I felt that day, like it hasn't easier.

(somber music) Well, after he passed I struggled a lot with my mental health and I wanted to numb the pain so I turned towards drinking.

Me and Hudda weren't in the best place.

He lost his grandmother in April.

So, that was just a few months before my dad died.

And that really like hurt him.

It hasn't been easy.

Me drinking, him drinking, we did some things to like ruin each other's trust, like alcohol became a pretty big problem.

Like I wanna go somewhere internationally.

- I did have the mom instinct that something wasn't right.

The more that they were partying, the more distant they were becoming for me.

And so, that's when I know something's wrong with my kids.

Watching them go through the drinking and the fighting and then starting to see that they were kind of falling apart.

I really just was hoping they'd figure it out until I had to finally just intervene.

I literally, physically went and found Hudda and got him in the car with me, and he wasn't in a good place, and they were both not in a good place and that was really hard to watch, but I did my best to intervene and to start putting a stop to some of those things.

- No, not really.

I feel like we're still kind of in the same boat.

Like we both still like struggle.

But I also like need to think about myself at the same time and think about my future and what I want for it.

I feel so lost right now.

(gentle somber music) (gentle somber music continues) (door latch clicking) (zipper rustling) (door thudding) (gentle somber music continues) (wind rustling) (gentle somber music continues) (birds chirping) - This is a rattle that was given to me by my uncle.

It was my very first one.

(rattle rattling) (wind rustling) (Darious chanting) I think it happens to every indigenous person where they feel like they're living in two worlds.

(Darious chanting) They're living in a world where the white people are dominant, and they're living in a world where the indigenous people are dominant.

(Darious chanting) That'll make you go nuts.

You know, at home I'm around Indians and when I go to school in a western organization where there's predominantly white people, then I have to put on a different face so that I am appropriate for them.

(Darious chanting) You can't get angry, 'cause if you get angry then you become one of those angry natives.

You can't show sadness otherwise and you're just sweeping around, and that's that mask you have to put on.

You have to put it on and say, "Okay, when I come in here, I have to be okay.

When I come in here I have to be professional.

I have to do what the European said was okay."

This is where we begin to see depression, mental illness.

This is where I see mental illness in my life, is this whole idea of living in two worlds.

(leaves rustling) In high school, I wasn't spiritual, and there came a time when everything I knew fell apart.

Everything you could doubt, I doubted.

(gentle music) Night after night I'd have panic attacks, 'cause you know, you get to these moments and you think really bad things.

You know, you think I'm going to kill myself.

You know, this represents me.

Almost everything was so foggy.

It's like there was a big foggy lens over my life.

The entire world no longer existed.

I didn't even recognize myself.

I looked in the mirror and it's like, well, who is this guy?

And so that's why my face was also kind of censored out.

(tribal drumming music) I was completely by myself.

All I could do was have these terrible thoughts.

(tribal drumming music) But even then I thought, well, if I killed myself then I'm just gonna be sent off into the darkness forever tortured.

So, it's like there's really nowhere to run it.

It sucks to live and it sucks to die.

I'm the only one here.

So, yeah.

(gentle music) (birds chirping) (gentle music) (birds chirping) - So, I started working here January of 2021.

You know, with COVID and everything, I decided to take a break from education and I landed this job so.

I'd say that I'm not where I thought I'd be.

You know, like sometimes I wonder, if my younger self would be disappointed where I'm at.

I plan on going to U-Dub and getting my bachelor's degree in law and then going to their law school there and getting my doctorate.

Because when you guys talked to me, I was a sophomore gonna be a junior, right?

So I was sober.

I wasn't really doing smoking, or drinking, or anything like that.

I was A straight student, on the honor roll all the time.

but I felt like I wasn't really living up to what everyone expected me to be.

Like I finally was getting challenged and I wasn't ready for it.

You know, I didn't wanna have that like pressure of you gotta be the good kid, you know, 'cause with hoop dancing you couldn't smoke, you couldn't drink, you know?

I wanted to have that freedom of, you know, just being myself or doing what I wanted to do.

I was self-harming and I needed a break, and that was my break.

Like smoking was something that helped me relax.

And I felt like for the first time I was able to breathe.

(somber music) And then this year we just lost my cousin, Darien.

That was like the hardest.

(siren wailing) It just happened so unexpectedly.

I remember walking over there to my grandma's.

I remember she came out, she looked down at me.

I barely took a step up those stairs.

She's like, "Darien killed himself."

(Taylee sobbing) And that was like broke my heart.

I stopped dancing when we lost him.

You know, when you have a healing dance, you're dancing for other people, you can't dance for yourself.

You are not supposed to.

I wasn't in a good place to try to heal people, and it just sucked, because when I felt like I needed it the most, I couldn't use them.

But you know, I'm not living with my mom.

I'm independent and you know, I feel like for 20 I was pretty good.

Yeah.

My boyfriend, Gary, he taught me how to do what needs to get done and do what I wanna do not what everybody else wants me to do, but you know, where I thought I'd be, I didn't think I'd be here still.

That I'd be somewhere else living life somewhere else, but life happens.

(Taylee chuckling) (somber music) (somber music continues) (somber music continues) - So, when I went to the University of Wyoming, I was not prepared socially.

I was not prepared to interact with adults.

The COVID-19 pandemic it started my first semester in college.

So, I don't think I really felt like I could interact with people, like of any age.

My anxiety especially, It really bloomed in college.

I shut myself in.

Then the second semester is when I was sent home.

(car swooshing) (baby cooing) Yeah, I see her.

So, seven people live in this house, and this is my sanctuary.

I just have a lot of cool things in here that I really like and I treasure them.

Here's my desk.

This cool little glitter jar, it's very calming, soothing.

Sometimes I'll keep my candy wrappers to remind myself that if I see it again to buy it, and a photo of my father.

In native spirituality traditions are passed down from parent to child.

I didn't grow up with most of the traditions that other kids have.

My father was an alcoholic so he wasn't in the right peace of mind to be sharing traditional aspects.

So, I lost out on a lot of culture.

I had a lot of patches and I didn't know what to do with them, so I just put them on my backpack.

And this one it's a "Beetlejuice" reference.

And then over here we have a cute little ghost with a knife.

A lot of people think that I am cute.

I have been told that I am cute, but I'm also deadly.

I changed my name from Ra'el to Ge ne.

To me, it's a gender neutral name and that's one of the main reasons why I like Gene.

It feels like a way of protecting myself from the outside world.

(car door thudding) On most reservations, there is a high number of missing or murdered indigenous women.

I carry a knife with me.

Pretty soon I wanna get a gun and a permit to carry it.

(thunder rumbling) In this life, we exist and it's really easy to not exist, (Ra'el sighing) but it's even harder to stay here, because you have to eat, you have to drink water, you have to breathe air, you have to feel the sun on your skin, you have to take care of your hair, your body, your teeth, your nails.

And at first, I thought the only solution was to get rid of me.

Just smooth it over, pretend that I didn't even exist.

I wanted to physically not exist, even in memories.

(somber music) (wind swooshing) - The native experience is very complex.

I think trauma is so heavy.

It's something I see every day when dealing with our people.

You see them stuck and then they cope with it in bad ways.

- Historical trauma is present, it's ever present.

We were forced to assimilate into a society that was completely foreign to us.

We were forced to give up our spirituality, our cultural identities, our languages, our prayers, and our ceremonies.

- Christianity had like a very big destructive force here on the reservation, because people used it as a tool to try to colonize us and say this is what religion looks like.

When we had religion way before Christianity ever existed.

And it just comes from the fact that white people have constantly told us that things that we do is wrong.

And then therefore, you know, that's where a lot of the physical, mental, sexual abuse occurred.

And then it created a system where we were told to be quiet about the things that go on with us.

- Sometimes as an impoverished community, you know, when we face a lot of traumas, you know, we face a lot of hardships.

And in those times, many of our people have traumas that they have never healed from.

And so, anything that starts to bring up some of that past historical trauma, you notice the older people don't talk about it.

And the younger people, I will admit, they're starting to talk.

They're starting to say, "Hey, this isn't right.

This is not healthy for our community."

(birds chirping) (traffic droning) (people laughing) (gentle upbeat music) - I ended up coming up here to Bozeman, to Montana State University.

Now, I am currently enrolled in early childhood education.

I'm loving it.

- How's that going?

Is that going okay?

Classes going okay?

- You know what?

It's not bad.

Last time I got like a B on my course, but I'm just trying to really study, man.

The image I really want to portray when I'm in college is just that I come across as strong.

I'm independent, I don't have to rely on anyone.

Rihanna for example, she's a queen.

She says that, "Fake it till you make it.

Fake it till you make it.

Fake the confidence until you make it I guess."

(Gabby laughing) It's embarrassing, but okay.

After a long day I just put my lashes up on the wall.

Like I just put 'em up on the wall.

And as you can tell, different lengths for different occasions so.

(gentle upbeat music) Everywhere I go in Wyoming or Montana, it's a culture shock, because I'm surrounded by nothing but white people rather than people who understand my humor, people who understand me, and why I do certain things.

Back home I can rely on people, you know?

But up here, I'm on my own.

It's just me.

(gentle upbeat music) Historical trauma incorporates racism that incorporates discrimination.

I'm really glad that Indigenous Peoples' Day is coming across a lot more nationally, but Columbus Day, like why would you celebrate that?

I always remember that there was one specific flag that killed out our people and that was the American flag.

So, seeing the American flag and putting your hand over your heart a lot and like, you know, really showing that you love it, it kind of like makes your blood boil in a way too, because that's the same flag that they put over, you know, put their hand over their heart once they killed our people.

So, it's like kind of like a bittersweet thing.

I don't wanna show disrespect for that, because I love our troops and like a high percentage of our people fight for our troops.

(jet engine rumbling) ♪ The babies on the bus ♪ ♪ Goes wha, wha, wha, wha, ♪ wha, wha, wha, wha, wha ♪ ♪ Babies on the bus go wha, wha, wha ♪ ♪ All the way to town ♪ - I feel like I'm stronger in mind and spirit, because I know that family is wherever your heart is, Tre Hero is my heart.

You're crazy.

(Carmen chuckling) That's what people call their kids, their heart that's living on the outside of them.

You grow them inside you for nine months and they hear your heartbeat.

You feel theirs and hear it.

Being a mother, being Native American, and having my own personal experiences with my mother, makes me feel like a really strong, powerful woman who will take on anything.

So, Matthew's my husband.

We've been married for three years.

(brush rustling) - Well, my name is Matthew Lynn Underwood, and in Arapaho, my name is Yellow Horse or (Matthew speaking Arapaho) as it was pronounced and given to me.

I am a corporal in the United States Marine Corps and I serve as a CBRN NCO for MWSS 174 right now.

Being the firstborn son that I have, it's definitely a special connection.

And I just like being a father for him.

Just give him that parent that I didn't specifically have at the time.

Tree.

What's that?

Are those leaves?

- It's call generational trauma.

And a lot of that has to do with what our grandparents and our ancestors was going through.

Not being able to practice our culture and actually, almost becoming extinct.

It's pretty terrifying to think about.

What Matthew and I are trying to do is we're trying to at least acknowledge that we did go through that, but we don't try to let it affect our everyday lives.

Especially, since we're the generation that's supposed to help overturn all that.

(Carmen chuckling) And with Tre Hero, we don't ever want him to experience- - Yeah, there we go.

- [Carmen] what we had to experience.

- One clap.

- It was nice for us to bring him a loving home, 'cause we know exactly what, like what we were missing out on.

So now, we can give that to this little guy.

(speaking Shoshone) oop boy, oop boy.

That means sleep.

Because I'm Shoshone and Tre Hero's enrolled Shoshone, it's really up to me to try to uphold the language, so we do a lot of like nursery rhymes in Shoshone.

Remember the song.

♪ Mary had a (Carmen speaking Shoshone) ♪ - It definitely is still an adjustment to be outside of the reservation to live in the outside world.

(car door thudding) (machine whirring) (jet engine rumbling) ECBRNS is enhanced chemical, biological, radiological and nuclear defense - Is it suffocating you?

- No.

And the S3 is where we do training and operations.

Teaching Marines how to survive in these toxic or potentially lethal areas.

(tense music) Being a Native American kinda have a different view on the world, because we're taught how to respect the land and not waste food and water.

Definitely was a different world.

(somber music) Being in the military, we've always moved from place to place.

- Yeah.

- [Matthew] We gotta take you out to the curb too.

A lot of mixed emotions.

Just saying goodbye to old friends and getting ready to meet new ones as we get there to Hawaii.

- We'll miss you so much.

- Miss you too.

- Come again.

- All right, buddy, have a good time in Hawaii.

I got the door.

- Okay.

- Matthew, he's progressing so well in the military.

He's promoting fast, but we as Native Americans, we're fighting in World War II without even being acknowledged as individuals and as Americans.

So, we take it as a personal victory.

Hey, we're making it in this system that did not want us here.

(Carmen laughing) You know, you gotta persevere somehow.

It's gonna be quite an adventure.

(somber music) (wind swooshing) (somber music) (wind swooshing) (Darious groaning) (brush rustling) - Before I went through what I went through, I was very ego driven.

I was very attached to this thing that is called Darious Tillman.

Everything crumbled.

Everything I thought I'd become, crumbled.

Everything I wanted, everything I desired, gone.

And I just had these panic attacks, constantly.

Finally, one day I said, "I need help."

(somber music) And so I went to a teacher of mine who I kne w was spiritual and he taught me many things.

It's crazy thinking that this all used to be our land.

- Oh, yeah.

We owned these areas many moons ago.

Now, when you veer off the road you get picked up for trespassing.

(Darious chuckling) - In my spiritual path, I owe a great part of it to Ivan.

I mean he was there through that entire process of the person I was before to the person I became after, and he is someone I aspire to be.

- Tobacco first?

- Uhuh.

- I've gathered cedar up here in Saints Canyon for the last 40 years, I guess.

Those cedar in many of our ceremonies, we take off the needles and put the stems aside and that's what we burn and we bless ourselves with it.

We leave offering of tobacco, because the trees are alive.

So, there's a sacred meaning to how you obtain that Cedar.

Did you bring a glove?

- No, it's all right.

- Tough?

- Tough.

(Darious chuckling) (birds chirping) - There's an aspect historically where we know the tribal people have lost a lot along the way.

I really feel that we're at a crossroads at losing more tradition and culture, songs, language, but Darious he's so full of questions.

Why is this, this way?

Why was that, that way?

And it's good to see a 19-year-old young male grasp that.

- When I tell people how old I am, that automatically drops my credibility.

Once you tell them I'm 19, "Ah, he don't know nothing."

I think you said it, which was, "Can you believe he's 19 years old?"

- And 62 is old to him.

So, he asked me, "Well, how was it when you was growing up?"

I was thinking, well, that's not that long ago, but it is.

(Darious singing in Shoshone) (Ivan singing in native language) (somber music) (Ivan singing in native language) (somber music) (birds chirping) (door latch clicking) - Oops, I had my.

- Don't let the dog out.

- My boyfriend, Jesse Warren, we've been together for two years and he is part Northern Arapaho and part Navajo.

We went to school together.

One of the things that I really like about him is his character.

- So, I was looking more and then.

- He helps me clear my mind, get rid of all of the negative clutter that I've been building up over the years, and he's a breath of fresh air, helps me breathe, opens up my eyes and he brings me back to where I want to be.

- You give me inspiration sometimes, like whenever you put your regalia on and stuff, it always makes me imagine like a deity, I guess.

- Oh, that's cool.

(gentle upbeat music) (traffic droning) Oh, that's nice and cool.

Cool.

I don't know any of my female friends owning a gun.

It all depends on the person holding the gun what they're gonna do with it.

- Did you see any that you say that you wanted?

- That one looks really cool.

- Okay.

There you go.

All righty, remember, no barrel at anybody.

Barrel to the ground until you're ready.

Finger off the trigger until you are ready.

What are you planning on aiming at?

- I'm looking at the big box over there.

(upbeat music) (gun blasting) I think I missed it.

- [Jesse] Aim a little higher.

(gun blasting) Too high.

- Okay.

Where we lived surrounded by all this wildlife, guns aren't usually seen as for violence.

And so, I lean into that.

(gun blasting) - Whoa, there you go.

- Nice.

- You hit the thing.

Finger off the trigger.

- Okay.

(somber music) (footsteps plodding) (somber music continues) - You nervous?

- Yeah.

- It's okay.

It'll be okay.

- I was just like really, really nauseous and like just puking all the time.

I thought it was just like a stomach issue that I had, but then I like the nauseous just kept continuing.

So, I got a pregnancy test and it was positive.

(Halle chuckling) Just not the timing- - I know.

- that I wanted.

- No, it's okay.

You are further along than I was in life than I was.

(somber music) - I was honestly really scared.

I still feel like a kid.

Like my mom was young when she had me, but at the age of 21 it's not what I had in mind at all.

I wanted to have my degree before, you know, I had kids and stuff.

So, it was kind of hard for me to like tell people about it.

Like I remember when we told my mom, like I was kind of hesitant.

And then she's the one who said it.

She's like, "You're pregnant."

- But I'm just so excited.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I feel like now I finally have a purpose again.

- Yeah, I know, I feel the same way.

- I feel like daddy had already been gone.

Like there were days when I didn't get outta bed or I didn't want to get outta bed, but now, I think like, I'm gonna be a grandma.

- I'm actually, so heartbroken he's not here.

He would've been the best grandpa ever.

- I kept all your things, 'cause I'm a hoarder.

A cradleboard.

Can't believe it's what?

22 years old.

My grandma did this.

- Know the beads.

- Yeah.

- Ooh, I have something else to show you.

- What?

- Don't get mad.

- Well, that's costumes.

Oh, the father daughter dance.

- So, if it's a girl, she's got dress up clothes.

I'm excited.

I can't wait.

- Do you have any advice for me?

- Just, I don't know.

Ask for help, we're here.

I love your little belly.

- Yeah.

- Too cute.

(Halle and Hudda chatting indistinctly) - So, according to the ultrasound, we're gonna be having a girl.

- I'm just ready.

I think I've been waiting my entire life to really be a dad.

Sometimes like it's, while I'm cuddling Halle and she'll like kick me in the stomach and I'll just be like, "Why are you kicking me?"

And I'll just be talking to her, I'll sing to her, and then that's when she'll start moving.

I just let her know like, I love her and I really let her know I can't wait to meet her.

- [Speaker] Stuff in their bag.

- I'm like so scared now that it's getting closer, but I just keep telling myself like my body knows what to do and I'm just trying to stay calm about it.

(people cheering) I'm really glad that I'm home.

Especially, for is this chapter of my family.

I don't know where I'd be without them.

And it takes a tribe to raise a baby so.

(gentle tribal music) (birds screeching) (birds chirping) (gentle tribal music) - Hi, there.

- Hello.

- Have you been in this building before?

- A couple times.

- Couple times.

I do a lot of work digitizing a lot of these old black and white photos.

To me, there's lots of life in these pictures, you know?

- Yeah.

- These pictures here, these are done by Talissa Abeyta.

She does a lot of work.

- She's one of my cousins.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah.

And this picture here?

- Yeah, - It's my other cousin, Josie, on her horse.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah.

I recognize the bead work that she's wearing.

- Oh, that's cool.

Then you go by Gene?

- Yes.

- Okay.

Okay.

Are you Ty's daughter?

- Yeah, Ty Trosper.

- Yes.

He was a good friend of mine.

He was a very good friend of mine.

We used to go hunting and stuff many moons ago, you know?

A ways back.

- Means a lot to me to meet someone who knew my dad, and to hear stories about him, because then it means that he's not just living on in my memory, but the memory of other people as well.

- So, what are your thoughts and what are your interests, Gene?

- Well, at the moment I have anxiety about opening up about what I don't know.

- Yeah.

- And asking for things that I don't even know that I should be knowing.

- That's okay.

That's okay.

Tribal youth, maybe through no fault of their own, are disconnected from who we are.

We come from a great history, you know?

- Yep.

- So, if you need any guidance or help, you can reach out to either one of us.

As a beautiful, young Indian lady, you'll have a lot to offer others, and you already do.

You already have a lot to offer others, but the future's bright when I look at you two young people and makes me feel good, makes my heart feel good.

(gentle music) - My main form of connecting with my culture is my bead work.

And right now, I'm working on a yoke or a cape.

For a great portion of my life I've been consumed by sorrow, but I feel like I've finally gotten to a good point in my life.

And I take the small joys in life whenever I can.

And there are lots of small joys that outnumber the great deal of the bad.

It makes me realize that life will go on.

(gentle upbeat music) (people chatting indistinctly) (Native Lullaby) - There you go.

There you go.

Are you up?

(hand thudding) (people chanting) - I have a baby daughter, her name's Hayzlee Bryant Redson Curry.

She was six pounds 11 ounces and 19.75 inches.

So, she's a average baby, but now I can tell she's longer, getting taller, getting bigger.

Everything was normal all that day of the 11th until about 10:30 pm the baby's heart rate was dropping and that doctor was like, "Okay, we're gonna do a C-section."

So, the first days were pretty difficult, 'cause Halle was in pain.

- I kind of feel like I was robbed of the experience of giving birth just because I wasn't the first one who got to hold her and I didn't get to hear her cry as soon as she came out.

(Halle chuckling) But I remember the nurse handing her to me and then I remember I just felt complete, like I felt so much better that I had her and then I had Hudda there, so then all that like chaos just like went away.

Like it didn't matter anymore.

Oh, this is just cute.

- Her little farmer look.

Is that the option for today?

- [Halle] Yeah.

You want it to be?

- Yeah, I think so.

She looks like a little Easter egg in that.

- Since Hayzlee's been here, I know what genuine happiness feels like.

Like she makes me so happy.

(alarm buzzing) I work for the Wind River Hotel and Casino.

I work in the human resources department.

Hello.

Just turning in your application.

- [Speaker] Yes.

- I'm the receptionist, and it's a really good paying job so it's a great way to save up money.

(keyboard keys clicking) I know I could get like a lot further, if I had my education.

I thought I'd have my associate's degree already.

It'd be great, if I was already started on my bachelor's.

I feel like I've put my dreams on hold, but I like you need to have money nowadays and in this economy.

I just know that my main priority is to make sure Hayzlee's okay.

- Like aren't you supposed to be at school?

Aren't you supposed to be playing basketball?

Aren't you supposed to be this, aren't supposed to be that?

I'm like, "Yeah, but I got life to deal with."

- It's really rigorous to get into a D1 athletic program.

- [Hudda] Oh, yeah.

- Those D1 opportunities come right outta high school, and you have to be ready.

He's not right outta high school anymore.

So as time's ticking, he's losing more and more on some of those opportunities.

- [Hudda] Four.

- I did joke a few times like, "Okay, you know, you may need to hang up those shoes as far as college ball," but he's like, "No, mom, I could do it all, you know, I know I could go to school and be a parent and play basketball."

(dramatic music) - My goal with basketball would be to show Hayzlee that like, even though she was here, it's still possible.

And like we can even get off this race, because of basketball.

And to like always go to your full potential, because I know sitting right here, I got potential.

Me and Halle always kind of, I've let it be known that with school and basketball I wanted to include my family.

So, I was also looking into the family housing part of it all.

- He was also worried about Halle like not coming or like not wanting to take that opportunity and really fearful.

And I know that his fear to this day is that he's gonna wanna move on and Halle is not gonna wanna go and wanna stay with Hayzlee, but like he told me, "Mom, I'm gonna, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna do this, but I have to go with or without them.

And that's gonna be hard."

- Honestly, I don't know what to think about it.

I think that there is a possibility of Hudda to going to college and me just staying back here.

How's work with grandpa?

- Good.

- A while at least.

- Just because I love seeing my family, I love being able to just get in my car and then go see them.

- You like to pray?

- Oh (Ronnie praying in Arapaho) - I come from a very traditional family.

Like I remember going to ceremonies, I remember my grandpa speaking to me in Arapaho for like as long as ever.

I want her to know like about her culture and her heritage (Ronnie praying in Arapaho) (somber music) - When my dad was here, like I was super outgoing and like I had a really great personality, but after he left, like I became an introvert and I like don't like to let people in, and I'm like scared.

I don't know what I'd do without my mom's family.

(somber music) - She developed some social anxiety through her grief and her loss.

That's what happens with trauma.

It changes who you are.

But I would hope that Hudda and myself and her family and we can just continue to keep trying to motivate her and let her find that again and find that spark.

- We got so much to figure out.

We got a lot to learn, but as of today, like we got today figured out, and tomorrow we'll figure out tomorrow.

- August is like coming quick and that's when like Hudda wants to leave, but I don't know what I wanna do, and I think it might take some time to figure that out.

(Hayzlee cooing) (people chanting) (bells jingling) - That's good.

That's good.

No, thank you.

- Right there.

- Hello, good to see you.

Thank you.

So, this is the powwow.

Well, powwows are held throughout the year at different times in different locations and they are cultural exchange between the different nations to celebrate who we are.

(tent rustling) But also families come together and they get to see one another and feast with each other.

- What I forgot anything you already know, Father.

- It feels good to be back, you know?

Kind of reconnect with home.

Kinda like how a tree has its roots.

If you like up dig it, the roots always stay there.

- Everyone was excited to hear that we were coming, especially, 'cause I just had my baby and whatnot.

- Say hi to sister.

Sister.

- I'm really excited, because it's an opportunity for me to actually, introduce my son into the powwow circle.

It's where I felt most comfortable growing up.

(tribal music) (people singing) (tribal music) (people singing) - I think that so many times we're portrayed as like this place of despair and I think every single one of these kids in some way or another has been touched by drugs, alcohol abuse, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, all these different things.

And I think the fact that they wake up every day and they're just trying to try it again, is to me the hope of it all.

We're gonna hopefully, get to these places where we have a revitalization of a lot of our stuff.

That's to put a lot of pressure on the younger generation, but I believe in this younger generation, I believe that they can take it further than I can.

You know, I'm just part of evolution and I don't see the end yet.

(somber music) (birds chirping) (people chatting indistinctly) Maybe you're not gonna see it in 10, 20 years, but down the road when there's this big revitalization, you are a part of that, you are a part of that circle who kept that moving?

We don't see that the fully evolved end yet.

We're not there yet, but it's coming and everybody plays a very important role.

This generation's gonna play a huge role in that.

- Well, I'm kind of interested in your story, because dude, you're in Hawaii.

Like how is it, because it's literal paradise in my eyes, you know what I'm saying?

What's holding you back there?

- I think what really holds me back there is feeling lonely.

Like I have Matthew, I have my kids, I don't have any family.

It's hard to make outside friends.

- Even just being here on the res, sometimes there's just that loneliness, which is like, man, where is everybody?

Where's everybody who's willing to learn?

Where's everybody who's willing to start talking Shoshone and not, you know, feel embarrassed by it?

I have to pick everything up myself, because if I don't do it, nobody else is gonna do it.

- Yeah.

I'm just glad that my school has a really good like native outreach program, because with that native outreach I was able to get accommodations through the school that actually, you know, got me in like kind of a grouping with other people from our reservation that I never knew.

(somber music) (leaves rustling) (bells jingling) - [Gabby] You wanna make fry bread?

- A little bit.

- Really?

- What's up, guys?

- Making some fry bread.

- Heck yeah, man.

- Throughout life, I realize I'm gonna have to advocate for myself no matter what.

As a woman, as a native,- Is there room for another one?

I'm just really thankful that throughout these couple years I've made connections that I've actually become and more independent out there in life.

So, I just want to graduate.

I'm so tired of school.

Get this degree, you know, start I guess my 401(k) start retirement plans.

I guess the American dream, and then hopefully, retire by 60 or something, you know?

(group laughing) - Right now, like you through school.

I agree with you, Gabby.

It's drag all the homework and all that kinda stuff and try and pass it.

(rattle rattling) - And there were a lot of challenges and hardships that we had to go through.

- Just be yourself.

That is freedom.

Be your indigenous self.

Just let the warmth fill the space.

Embrace who you are.

- Darious Amaré Tillman, English associate of arts.

(audience cheering) - It feels very nice to finally realize that the people around me truly want me to be around them.

(bells jingling) To feel wanted, to feel belonging to a unit.

I'm preparing myself to go out into the world and be my own person with my own decisions and responsibilities.

These earrings, I beaded myself.

And then these were given to me by my grandma, Zedora Enos.

Whenever I get to wear traditional regalia, it is something that gives me a sense of belonging and I feel enclosed and protected within this outfit.

- You know, I do need to get back into powwow and get back into learning our ways, 'cause I stopped for a little bit there.

(rattle rattling) I've been asked to hoop dance still, but like I haven't.

This is my first time touching them in like two years.

When I was 16, you know, I didn't really know what my adult life was gonna look like.

You know, I'm 20 now, but you know, I do know that I'm not gonna stay here forever.

I did get accepted to Casper College.

- Yeah.

- So, that's my plan to go this fall, 'cause the reservation's a good place.

It is, but I feel like at some point in all of our lives we have to leave.

Leaving the reservation is what's gonna help me be able to come back and help my people more.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, 'cause for me it's more or less just thinking about what I want to do after the Marine Corps.

- So, Matthew and I are hoping to come back sometime in the future.

Matt is thinking about other career aspects, and I'm also thinking about going back to school as well.

My biggest dream for my kids is that they're never afraid to dream and that they're never afraid to go out there and experience life itself.

- See those mountains over there, part of our homelands, part of your homelands.

- [Carmen] It almost feels like I've never left.

You know, when they tell you to clear your head and think of the most peaceful place on Earth, this is what I think of.

- The last couple years have been like a roller coaster for me, 'cause I lost like someone who had like a huge impact on my life.

So, kind of lost myself there for a little bit.

But then I had a baby.

I did like a lot of maturing.

Yeah, that's why I'm like, we can choose.

- Because there's already, yeah.

What about your dark chocolate?

- No, we can just throw all that stuff away.

- So, as of this week, there was a change in their plans and so him and Halle will be attending school together and they're going into business administration now.

- Yeah.

I am going back to school too and like better myself, you know, and to like better Hayzlee's future.

I'm super excited, but I'm also extremely nervous at the same time, because ever since I've had Hayzlee I've always had my family to help out with her, but now it's just gonna be Hudda and I.

- I'm going out to Bismarck, North Dakota, and going up to United Tribes.

I'm gonna be playing basketball.

I know I have a good basketball dream of like when we're really ready to settle down and come to the res and then just building a simple like gym and bringing like more of a basketball culture even like around here.

(Hayzlee cooing) (somber music) - Like, I'm trying to find myself again.

Like I know I won't be her completely or fully, but I'm hoping to find her again.

(Halle chuckling) - Something that really kind of stood out to me for us is like, okay, we all felt uncomfortable though within all those situations, you know?

And we all acknowledge that.

So in a way, you know, that's actually, a step for growth.

- We're all stepping outside of our boxes kind of.

- Yeah.

Out of our comfort zones and that comfort zone's here within these boundaries of this reservation.

- Yep.

- This 2.2 million acres that we have here in Wyoming, you know?

- The grandfathers were onto something.

They really were, because they were okay.

You know, they were okay.

They weren't scared of nothing.

Be a person of the people that's what all those chiefs were.

They thought about their people way before they thought about themselves.

And that's what's involved in being a warrior.

- Man, our future kind of looks bright if we keep going.

(group laughing) (gentle upbeat music) - A warrior to me is someone who knows themselves well enough to fight for what's right.

- Not necessarily a champion of champions.

You're not doing it for yourself, but for your people.

- It takes kindness to be a warrior.

- A lot of patience.

- A lot of suffering.

- [Carmen] Even just being a really good mother, is a warrior.

- All warriors are just normal people at first.

It's something that you grow into.

I do feel like a warrior.

- I am a warrior in the making.

- I'd say I'm a warrior for my family and my tribe.

- I feel like I am a warrior.

I just gotta stop being so humble about it.

- I don't know if I would call myself a warrior.

I feel like I'm more of a survivor.

- I am getting to be a warrior.

Not quite there yet, but I will be.

♪ Do you know my Indian name ♪ ♪ Let it strike a fear in their hearts ♪ ♪ Warrior blood it flows through my veins ♪ ♪ Do you know my Indian name ♪ ♪ Whoa!

♪ (upbeat music) ♪ Tribal Chairmen listen to me ♪ ♪ Don't ever tear your people apart ♪ ♪ I have seen resiliency ♪ ♪ where women sing their beautiful songs ♪ (upbeat music) (upbeat music continues) (upbeat music continues) ♪ Remember where the timber lays down ♪ ♪ In tribal lands where two rivers meet ♪ ♪ Blood and tears they ♪ sink in the ground ♪ ♪ My woman sings so lovely to me ♪ ♪ So lovely to me ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ Do you know my Indian name ♪ ♪ Let it strike a fear in their hearts ♪ ♪ Warrior blood it flows through my veins ♪ ♪ Do you know my Indian name ♪ ♪ Whoa!

♪