[ Feedback scratching ] [ Guitar strumming ] Kahlert: Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, Boston, Toronto, and New York City.

Detroit.

Milwaukee was amazing.

Anderson: Best crowd.

Best crowd.

Phenomenal kids in Milwaukee.

They were surfing.

They were pulling them out one a minute.

Props to the kids of Milwaukee, of all places.

Yeah.

605 freeway, right?

Yeah.

You want 605.

Yeah, well, I told you that that story that time we went to Texas to see Primal Scream, and one of the roadies looked at us.

We knew him from, like, 1970s, and he looked at us, and he says, "Are you still doing this?"

And I looked at him.

I said, "You are still doing this?"

Now it seems more the band's supporting us than we're supporting the band.

But that half hour that they're on stage each night, there's energy then.

It's just so uplifting.

Rock and roll.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ We go all over the world and meet lots of people, but, you know, we don't classically spend.

♪ Spread your love like a fever ♪ ♪ And don't you ever come down ♪ They are a real pair of characters, and everybody f*****g knows it.

They drove to one shore.

They drove so far that the wheel fell off the car.

♪ Spread my love like a fever ♪ ♪ I ain't never coming down ♪ Lopez: Rock and roll is keeping them young.

I think they plan to live forever.

[ Cheers and applause ] ♪ She gave me love like a big fire ♪ I think it's kind of ironic when you get on stage and you realize your merch people are more famous than you.

♪ She spread her love like a fever ♪ ♪ She's bad, but not enough ♪ I like it when people give in to their obsessions, you know, all the way.

Man: They're true punk rockers.

They genuinely believe in a free spirit, anybody-can-do-it kind of attitude.

♪ Spread your love like a fever ♪ ♪ Spread your love like a fever ♪ ♪♪♪ Best way for the interviews to happen and holding the microphone is to be as close as possible to -- Yes.

Perfect.

You got it.

Rourke: You're listening to "Jet Lag" with me, Andy Rourke, on East Village Radio.

I'm here with my very special guests, super music fans Dennis and Lois.

We're talking about the life and times and exploits of these two wonderful people.

You gave me a list, and 50% of these bands have all slept on your sofa or on your floor at some point.

Anderson: Or are we on theirs.

Kahlert: We get attracted to the music, and I'm curious of what kind of person created this music.

Rourke: Yeah.

And so I want to get to know them, and we spend time with them and drive them around and... Wow.

And "Oh, you don't have a place to sleep?

Well, you can stay by us and..." Yeah.

Guardian angels, you two.

[ Chuckles ] How would I describe you?

Like, a sofa to the stars?

Super, super music fans?

Old.

Old.

Okay.

In a word.

So we're talking about your last 40 years exploits, basically, and I mentioned the sofa thing earlier and you said the first band was -- Anderson: A lot Of people, when they see us at gigs, wonder why we're still doing it.

Love for music doesn't have a beginning or end.

[ Rock music playing ] ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ [ Indistinct singing ] ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Anderson: Nothing beats a live concert.

Nothing beats the emotion, the fact that you never know what's going to happen.

As much pleasure as we get from all of our records, all of our CDs, for us, it's an important drive.

That's what we live for.

[ Indistinct singing ] Kahlert: Smoke started coming up.

Everybody was doing this mosh pit, slam dancing and body surfing and all this stuff going on, and out there, I'm sitting in the chair.

[ Indistinct singing ] ♪♪♪ ♪ So c-c-come on ♪ ♪ So come on ♪ I met Dennis and Lois right before our first album ever came out.

Pretty much after that, they were coming to, like, every show we had in New York.

They were really cool and they would just come to all the shows.

I remember someone telling me, "Hey, Ollie, your parents are here at the show."

And I was like, "Where?"

And then [chuckles] it was Dennis and Lois.

They still got it.

♪♪♪ Kahlert: The passing the guitars over, they're passing guys over, and they're doing all -- and it was, like, most incredible show I ever saw.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] Anderson: Seeing the audience happy after a gig is just a good feeling.

For an hour or whatever on stage, these people could make a difference in so many people's lives.

Langford: I like the fact that their life project seems to be collecting all these toys and pursuing the kind of thrill of live music way into, you know, a time when it's not, like, acceptable in the sort of, you know, ageist society we live in.

You know, I'm supposed to have packed in when I was 30.

I shouldn't be doing what I do, and Dennis and Lois should definitely not be doing what they do, if you listen to the the powers that be or the arbiters of taste.

But you know what?

People just keep on doing what they love, and that's what's wonderful about them.

Anderson: What happened to my Presleys?

I don't see any of my Elvis pictures.

[ Scanner whirring ] He was unbelievable live.

The power he had in his voice was just like -- Oh, my God.

Unbelievable.

[ Scanner whirring ] There's not too many people I can think of who we haven't seen.

We span the music from the '50s through now, which is a wealth of beautiful and wonderful music.

♪♪♪ Kahlert: I grew up in Brooklyn.

I was born in Flatbush.

My grandparents came from Brooklyn.

When I was about 13, I had a transistor radio, and you listen to deejays, and they became your friend.

You listened to them every night.

They gave you advice.

They talk to you about life.

They played music.

Alan Freed Murray, the K, who brought the Beatles to America, had a rock and roll show in downtown Brooklyn, and I went to these shows, and I hung out by the stage door to get autographs.

I saw the Beatles in the very beginning.

That's what started a lot of this.

I saw James Brown, Marvin Gaye, and then I saw the Rolling Stones right after that.

[ Ding! ]

I always liked English music better.

I grew up in new Jersey, but I keep trying to forget that.

[ Chuckles ] I was born in Hoboken, in the same hospital that Sinatra was born in.

When I was in high school, I worked in television with Chuck McCann, and on the same station, there was "The Clay Cole Show".

Cole: I started in 1963.

I was doing a rock and roll show, and that's where I first met Dennis.

He was 15 when he came to our show and would hover in the background.

I could see his enthusiasm and his total awe of everything.

And the show just had everybody.

The Shirelles, the Supremes, Little Stevie Wonder when he was Little Stevie Wonder, and it was the first show in America the Rolling Stones did.

In order to keep my core audience, which was the teenagers, Dennis became my meter.

When he'd perk up hearing a song, I'd know, "Ooh, that's the one we got to keep playing."

It took the edge off of an artist being a celebrity and made them a human being.

So I think that freed me up for later on.

When I'm with a band, I can separate the person from the stage image.

But I got all my early rock love through Clay and his show.

I mean, Dennis goes back to the early 1960s, before the British Invasion, and he never stopped.

And I'm telling you right now, if you see him, tell him to stop it already.

I mean, how long can you keep being a fan like that?

Anything for you.

Man: So I want to know how you guys met.

Was it a setup?

Just... [ Laughing ] Was it a setup?

[ Chuckles ] Yeah, well, we're six months apart, so we're fortunate in that we're both from the same geographic area.

We're the same age.

So all our points of reference, all the stuff before we met is basically the same.

He had the same record collection I had.

I was like, "Uh..." We were watching the same TV shows, listening to the same music.

It just seemed like a natural fit.

The Monty Python movie was the very first date, one of those afternoon dates, so if it doesn't work out, you didn't waste the whole day.

It was -- [ Laughs ] Then when I first met him, I said -- Well, we had sex, and I said, "Well.

some people just get attracted to other people for this physical thing."

And I said, "Well, if he really likes me and if he's really interested in these other things that I'm interested in, let's just get the sex out of the way, and, yeah, he's had it and move on."

But -- It didn't work.

[ Chuckles ] The music went past all that.

The first real evening date-date, commitment date was CBGB's.

♪♪♪ CBGB's had just started.

It was very curious.

New music.

Neither one of us knew anything about it.

So that was our first date, going to CBGB's.

Rourke: Wow.

And Talking Heads and Richard Hell were on stage, and Lou Reed was shooting pool at a pool table in the back.

I bet he was shooting more than pool.

[ Laughs ] But that's probably before there was any graffiti in the toilets.

Yeah.

They had food.

It was just -- Yes, they actually served food.

They had food?

And we actually ordered it.

It didn't smell of piss?

Oh, well.

[ Laughs ] So then the Ramones had played and we thought, "Well, these people are amazing."

And we went every night.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ When an artist inspires you as much as the Ramones inspired people, they attract a very, very special kind of fan.

I could tell after the first, you know, maybe a couple of months of shows at CBGB's that some of the faces started looking familiar, just a handful of them that would be there most of the time, if not all the time.

I mean, I could just see their faces when the band was playing, and I knew that they were feeling what I was feeling, and this couple turned out to be Dennis and Lois.

We saw them at CB's a bunch of times, then we drove to Antonio's Pizzeria in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, which is something like a nine-hour drive each way to watch them do a 20-minute set.

They thought we were either nuts or super cool when we did that.

Anderson: And we saw in the beginning that Arturo Vega, who did their lights, was also doing their merch.

Vega: I would sell shirts at the beginning of the evening, then come showtime, I would put the T-shirts away and then do the light show.

During the last song, I will leave all the lights on, come back, run out and start selling shirts again.

And we figured, "We're there anyway.

Why should he have to do that?

We can do it."

Lois said, "We can watch the T-shirts for you.

You know, we'll start selling so you don't have to rush."

Then I realized that they were trustworthy and that they loved doing it and that they were cool people to hang out with and to talk to.

So really fast, you know, they became, like, members of the inner circle, and that's how it started.

♪♪♪ Anderson: You always used to mend Joey's jeans.

The Ramones hallway.

Is that what you call it?

Yep.

Where do we start?

The late '70s to the early '80s.

These jeans were the original jeans from the beginning through "Rock 'n' Roll High School".

I can't believe he fit in those.

Those pants are unbelievable.

There was one time when John had a s**t fit because Joey was taking, like, an hour and a half to get his jeans on because he couldn't find what hole to put his foot through.

[ Laughs ] So he said, "That's it.

That's the last time you're wearing these jeans."

They threw them in the corner and Lois said, "Can we have them?"

And he said, "Yeah, sure."

Unbelievable.

What about the jacket?

Where'd you get the jacket?

Dee Dee.

That's one of Dee's.

He gave it to you?

Just said, "Here.

Have it"?

Yeah.

Postcards from Johnny that read just like John.

I mean, they... [ Laughs ] Came from Spain.

Wow.

I hear the accent when I read them.

It's so John.

And some lyrics Joey was writing.

Some of this went into other songs.

Some of it are just words that never were used.

And he just said, "Yeah, take it."

But this is how Joey used to write.

Was this telegraph here?

It was from Joe.

"Been trying to get in touch with you.

Need your services tomorrow morning at 1 o'clock.

Very important.

Joey Ramone."

He actually needed Lois to drive him somewhere, doctor or something.

He sends you a telegram?

Unbelievable.

Yeah.

I don't think I've ever sent a telegram in my life.

He's the reason I learned how to drive.

Really?

Explain this.

Because in the beginning, when we got our first car, we'd follow you to get to the gigs.

Uh-huh.

'Cause I didn't know where I was.

[ Laughs ] And you were driving, like, at 90 miles an hour.

And I figured either I got to stay watching him or I'm going to be lost.

So I told you you had to drive fast.

[ Both laugh ] Anderson: I don't think we would be in the position with a lot of bands today that we are if it wasn't for Ramones.

Because we want to CB's all the time, we got to meet all these other bands.

Maybe we would have ended up down that road anyway, but there's a good chance we wouldn't have and our whole story would have been different and there'd probably be no story.

♪♪♪ We got to know the Ramones, the Undertones, Adrian Wright, became the Human League, and then we got to know Mark Reeder, and then Mark Reeder introduced us to New Order.

And Nick Cave.

And Nick Cave.

Of course, Nick cave used to stay in Mark's house.

Then we went to England all the time, and then we got to meet Jon Langford.

He had the Three johns, and then we met the Mekons and Captain Sensible and then the Damned.

We're dead lucky that most of these people seem to get us and our passion right from the start and they realize, "Yeah, you know, these people are sincere."

♪♪♪ You sure it's not the time that Mickey and Fergal came over and seen the Ramones and met the Ramones?

Oh, I wasn't there.

Kahlert: Most of these people are nice people, if you go up to them and just relate to them as people.

There's an intimidation factor with people about musicians, bands, especially ones that they really like, that they're afraid to meet them, or what are you going to say to them, or "They're not going to want to talk to me."

It's not the case, especially if you approach them as people and don't "Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God."

Somebody comes up to you and stands there and says "Oh, my God" to you and screams and gets fanatic, I mean, it's a bit weird.

They get starstruck a little bit, but they know how to get out of it because they know they could just stand there, or they could say something and actually make contact with that person.

Finn: I think that Dennis and Lois are able to connect more so, maybe, than other fans, because somehow they're able to communicate their sincerity in a way that comes off very real.

A lot of fans, unfortunately, aren't able to do quite that.

Anderson: We'll meet them a lot of times to get autographs.

We usually end up talking with them because we don't fit the makeup of their normal audience because of our age.

I think they relate to us slightly different.

And if there is a rapport, if if there are things in common, if we get on with them as people, then we continue the connection as people.

Possibly the first friends I ever had in New York State, or the States, even.

-Josh, say, "Hi, Lois."

-Hi, Lois.

-Hi, Lois.

-[ Chuckles ] You've been fly.

You've been good.

Mounfield: They're my angle on the New York punk scene.

And, you know, they were going to CBGB's and seeing the bands that I grew up loving, and just to be with them and hearing some of the stories of who they seen and what they've been to and, you know, it's living history, man, in music.

To have, you know, Lois or Dennis say, you know, "Our first date was the Ramones, and we saw in this many Ramones shows and we've seen this many shows since, you know, 1970, whatever, and your band's awesome," that makes me feel better than a guy who said, "I've been to four shows in my life, and yours is the best one so far," you know?

They're, like, really committed, but not in an irritating way.

They don't do that s**t. They come backstage and they'll kind of -- They'll sit there right next to you, you know, and you'll be like sweating after the gig.

You just want to be on your own.

Not to sound like a diva or anything, you know, but you'll get some fans who will follow you to the bar, you know, they'll come and take a s**t with you, you know?

And they're not like that at all.

Yeah, we don't talk music too much.

Oh, we talk music, but... Not their music.

More about music in general.

We find another topic with British bands.

It's Britcoms, kid shows, science fiction that was over there that we were aware of that we like that's a common ground with them.

They've been to a lot of our shows from at least '93.

That's the first time I met them.

That was at the Limelight.

I remember the occasion, and I think I'd be upset if they didn't show up.

For me, it'd mean, like, we were doing something wrong.

We'll tell them that we like what they do, or if they've had a bad night, we'll say, "Mm."

And they accept that we're honest with them.

You know, like, not everybody can be perfect all the time.

It starts as a fan thing, but it develops into a friendship in the sense that these people will contact us.

It's not just us contacting them.

♪ Eyes are weeping, eyes are red ♪ They were so generous when the Mekons first came over, and we'd stay at their house when they lived in Brooklyn, and it was tiny and it was entirely full of toys and games, and we'd sleep all over the floor.

♪ I love a millionaire ♪ By offering all sorts of services, became part of our lives.

Or actually, I think we became part of their collection.

They arrived with their Mekons plates one day, and it's never changed.

They arrived with their Mekons plates last night, and that's, what, 30 years down the line.

They had Ramones plates on their car, and they used to park it up behind CBGB's, and every time they'd get new plates, someone'd rip them off.

I think after that, they decided they really liked the Mekons, so they got Mekons plates and no one ripped them off.

[ Laughs ] [ Car horn honking ] They started showing up in their van to, like, take us to our rehearsals, and then they were at every rehearsal, every rehearsal we had.

We used to rehearse, like, three times a week, and they were at every rehearsal.

Man: What would they do in there, in rehearsal?

They'd just stare at us and smile and just nod their heads and be well into the music.

Kind of like, "Oh, we've got two new band members and it's Dennis and Lois.

They don't play anything, but they're in the band, so to speak."

They just fit right in.

Kahlert: [ Laughing ] Stick them in that.

[ Laughs ] [ Laughs ] Anderson: We've been together night and day for 40 years.

Kahlert: Are you sure it's their van?

[ Laughing ] I hope it's their van.

Yeah, that's the other thing.

We've been together 40 years.

We've not gotten married yet.

I mean, I asked her to marry me in the beginning.

She said no.

I said, "Okay."

You know, if this is working, this is working.

It's not about going to some stranger and giving him money and getting a piece of paper.

It's about a relationship.

Whether you have this paper or not, it doesn't make any difference, really.

♪♪♪ We're both only children, so I don't think having a family ever was really something we thought about.

And we thought, "Maybe we can do both," but I thought, "Mm, I don't think we can do both," so we didn't have any, 'cause we wanted to have this life.

But no regrets.

I honestly feel that music has served us both very well indeed.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ So we were in Manchester sewing shirts for the Ramones, and this father comes in with his little kid and they ask us about the Ramones, and I don't have a little T-shirt to sell this kid, even to give to him, and I said, "Do you want to go backstage after the show and meet the band?"

And -- "Yeah, yeah."

One, two, three, four!

♪♪♪ Goodwin: Dennis and Lois were doing the merchandise, and I think they saw me f*****g freaking out to the Ramones and said, "Well, we can help this kid out.

Wouldn't it be a gas to introduce this kid to the band?"

And they f*****g did.

I could remember shaking Joey's hand.

It was unbelievable.

That's a really magical memory.

Years later, I listened to this band Doves, and I read in the "NME" -- They talked to Jimmy and they said, "What made you decide to do music as your life?"

And he said, "Well, when I was six, these people took me backstage to see the --" And I was like, "That's that kid."

Goodwin: My formation is a musician, they facilitated that.

Seeds were set by meeting my idols.

It's like out of a film, right?

You can't make it up.

You know, Lois is like a mother figure, and that's what you need when you're away from home.

Yes.

I suggest if you're into it -- Because this is it for the whole tour.

He only signed 12 posters.

Kahlert: When bands, they've given me music and they've helped me just getting through your life, and if I can do something to repay them, yeah, I'm here, whatever you need me to do.

Okay.

So, a poster, and that and that.

That's $40 all together, please.

"You are the musicians, and you shouldn't be doing it.

We'll do it for you."

That's what we know how to do, stand there and sell T-shirts.

Yeah.

She'll go get it signed for you.

You got the last one.

Been: They know the reality is, like, by the time you get to the East Coast, you're burnt out and you could use a friend and a hand, and that's the real way to say thanks, you know?

And they know that s**t, and that's why they're Dennis and Lois.

Black Rebel, when they -- The first time we saw them opening for the Charlatans, they tried selling their own merchandise after the gig, and they were hopeless.

Plus they were tired from playing, so they really -- But they had no idea who we were, and we just said, "You want help?

We'll sell your stuff."

And they just handed over a bag of merchandise to us, not knowing who the hell we were, if we were going to beat them out of money, beat them out of the merchandise.

I guess we don't look threatening, because neither one of us can run very fast to make a quick getaway, so...

But yeah, we still do it to this day, and it's just something that's a natural extension of our way of saying thank you.

Kahlert: What street are we on?

Ewing.

Gary you got to worry about.

You're not seeing it yet?

No.

I told you the same thing.

I told you a hundred times.

No.

Yeah, I seen it, and I didn't say anything.

I figured, "Oh, let's keep this a secret."

Look, there's another Denny's.

Denny's.

Denny's everywhere.

You don't get any sleep and you don't eat at normal times, and even when I go in the room to sleep, I'm so wound up because I've listened to this music.

That's probably would kill me, but I could do this for the rest of my life and do just what I'm doing right now, just going around watching bands who play every night.

It's just making me very happy.

I just love it.

♪♪♪ [ Beep ] Anderson: Hey, another f*****g amazing show.

Rock and roll is in our bloodstream.

Kahlert: God damn it.

We're out in the middle of Nebraska.

Anderson: It's snowing in Cheyenne, Wyoming.

Kahlert: Hey, it's "Analog Girl".

My God.

Why is it so good?

Anderson: We found a rest area.

We're going to pull over and pee and sleep for an hour or two.

♪♪♪ Kahlert: Everyone should have the blessing of seeing a country with a band they love.

We've been cataloging all the ticket stubs we have.

We sit down, I read the date, he logs it in a book.

Man: If you had to estimate, how many shows?

Kahlert: We used to go to maybe four shows a week.

Anderson: Sometimes three shows in a day.

Kahlert: Early show, late Show.

Anderson: And real late show, over 40 years.

Could be completely ridiculous, but I'm coming in with, like, 10,000 shows.

[ Cheers and applause ] We are an architecture firm here in New York City.

We do a lot of cultural work.

So a lot of museums, a lot of performing arts buildings, a lot of work in New York proper.

This is called the Westchester Community College.

We're building a college.

Lois is the head of the print room and responsible for the quality of documents printed.

There's my plaque on the wall.

25 years.

You can't guess what you're going to hear when you talk to Lois.

She can't wait to tell you stories.

And she tells the same story all day until everybody in the office has heard that story.

This is all my rock and roll stuff from places where I've been and set lists, and when I come back from wherever I am, all these people want to know what I've done because they don't have a life.

They just do architecture.

So I tell them about my life.

Polshek: I'm of a generation where rock and roll is a foreign language.

Still is.

But underneath that collection, there's a really interesting, imaginative mind.

One time, I said, I need six weeks off to go on a tour, and they said, "No."

"Either you give me the time off or I'm quitting."

[ Chuckles ] So they gave me the time off.

Reeder: They're beyond fans, Lois and Dennis.

Being a fan is just a fad-y sort of thing.

It lasts a few years and it kind of dwindles, maybe, and you might still collect the records a few years down the line, but your life moves on and it goes onto something else.

With Lois and Dennis, it's not like that.

You don't find people like that around the world.

When we got to know Oasis, we'd go to work in the day and then run to the airport at night, travel to England, barely get in to see their show, take the red eye back to go back to work the next day.

They're intriguing.

You know, Dennis got fired from his job.

He must have been in his mid 50s, and he got fired for taking three days off work without permission to go and see the Mekons in, I think, Chicago.

How many 55-year-old people would do that, you know?

Anderson: It was a problem.

I mean, you got -- I worked at the Panasonic Corporation, who is electronic, and they do -- Well, there goes that sponsorship.

[ Laughs ] Towards the end, I was wearing my Ramones shirt to work because I was out the night before with the band, and I didn't have time to come home and change, so, "Well, you love the Ramones more than you love us.

We have to let you go."

[ Chuckles ] "The Village Voice" used to be our enemy.

As soon as we'd call in sick, they'd thumb the music pages of "The Village Voice".

"Who's in town?"

"Oh, they had that T-shirt on the other day.

Oh, suddenly, they're sick."

[ Chuckles ] We found out it's not good to call in sick from an airport payphone when you're trying to say you're sick and they go, "Flight 302 to Miami, now boarding."

Automated voice: Please make sure you have all your personal belongings and watch your step as you exit.

Man: What is it about England you guys love so much?

It's not just the music.

It's the people as well.

Americans are good, but somehow, English people have some edge to them, and it all came through on the music.

It's not the quality or hitting the right note.

It's about the feel of it.

It's bigger than me.

Man: Let me see your T-shirt, 'cause I haven't seen that yet.

And you think that was from when?

From the first tour, I believe they did, after "Pills, Thrills and Bellyaches".

One time, we went to Oasis in the in the stadium, and I bought these T-shirts and I put them in a carry bag, and the guy said to me, "I think you should double bag this," and then I went out in the mosh pit, and that's when I fell down.

That's when I really hurt my knee.

And I had my hands around that T-shirt bag.

"Oh, I'm not losing these T-shirts in this mosh pit."

The merch is going to be upstairs in the main room in the back.

He said that's where the band wanted, so when we go up -- We should go up a little -- Not at the last, last minute in case they have our size for a change.

♪♪♪ [ Indistinct singing ] ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪ Come on and bleed me ♪ [ Cheers and applause ] Thank you very much.

Dennis.

Happy new year, Mr. Shaun William Ryder.

You almost had me crying during that show.

Yeah?

Was it good?

I just felt so happy.

Really?

Thank you.

What?

Am I allowed to tell the truth about why Dennis and Lois really used -- Well, when we first got to New York, Dennis and Lois brought the pot, the weed, the good stuff.

I got a phone call off Lois once.

Must have been about 1990.

She said, "Oh, we're going to go see Happy Mondays, and we're going to get to meet them and get to know them and go and hang out with them."

I said, "Oh, mm, do you know him at all?

And -- "No.

What we're going to do is stand by the stage door.

We're going to wear a Frank Sidebottom T-shirt.

Happy Mondays will walk past and go, 'Wow, Frank Sidebottom.'

We'll go, 'Yeah, sure.'"

It was like a military operation.

I came out of the back doors, and across the way was this big chain link fence, and Dennis was stood there and Lois was stood there shouting, "Paul!"

It was like, "Wow, who are these?

'Cause they don't look like Mr. and Mrs.

Conventional, really."

So I had to go across, and it just kind of went from there.

Anderson: Their reputation in Manchester were bad boys.

Kahlert: And I wanted to see for myself.

We just got on right away with it.

♪ You can change your desire ♪ ♪ Don't you know, I can make you forget ♪ ♪ Your man, your man ♪ Berry: I can't remember where we was.

We were in some godforsaken place in America.

We just got off the tour bus and was running up and down the road because I wanted weed, and I seen this couple, and I said, "Hey, do you know where we can get weed from?"

And Dennis went, "Uh-huh.

Yeah."

That's how we met them, really.

Anderson: Here they are in LA, in the studio, and they can't find weed.

I think they were just nervous about who they went up to.

And so they said, "Can you do us a favor?

Can you score us some weed and FedEx it to us?"

So I went, scored ounces, pound -- I don't know what the hell I scored -- put it in a FedEx envelope with a phony return name.

and saw them through the recording of "Pills, Thrills and Bellyaches".

I only did it as a friendship thing.

I mean, a friend needs something.

Yeah, I can help them.

Yeah, I'll help them.

And Shaun pulled us up when he was in L.A. in the studio and said, "When the album comes out, we've got a big surprise for you."

Kahlert: And I was on my lunch time and I got the "NME", and the cover said New Monday's album out now, and it had the track listings, and I was like, "Oh, my God."

And then I called him and I said, "You'll never get what they did."

They wrote a song about you called "Dennis And Lois".

That I must have been quite a compliment.

A compliment and a surprise.

The fact that they did something for us, I was really touched with that.

♪ Right on, right on ♪ ♪ Right ♪ ♪ Right on, right on ♪ They must have just popped up in my head when we was writing the music.

You know, they must have been swimming 'round there somewhere, subconsciously.

I had heard of them just through the.

Happy Mondays song.

-The Happy Mondays song.

-The Happy Mondays song.

There aren't many people who don't know who Dennis and Lois are, or at least know the names Dennis and Lois in the whole of Manchester.

When I mention Dennis and Lois or the band and Dennis and Lois, people can't believe that they're real people.

Kahlert: I went to the stage door of Oasis, and Noel comes out, and I said, "Can we talk with you later on?"

"Yeah, I'll put your name on the list.

What's your name?"

And I said, "Dennis and Lois."

And he looked at me and he says, "You are the Dennis and Lois?"

And I was like, "Oh."

[ Laughs ] Dennis always says when is his 15 minutes of fame going to be over?

Never.

The greatest moments was when the Mondays did the song, of course.

It's what, you know, makes people like them legends.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ [ Indistinct talking ] [ Guitar strumming ] Dennis is hard at work.

Not really.

We're in the bowels of Pennsylvania in a church.

This is the first time I've been in one of these in quite a while, so you may get some flames shooting out, especially since I saw Ozzy last week.

Gough: The first time I met Dennis and Lois was a New York show.

Some guy working at the venue said, "These two people are outside and they're trying to get in because they want to see your show."

And I said, "Well, who are they?"

He said, "Oh, they said Dennis and Lois."

So I went outside to meet them.

I'd heard so much about them from other bands.

So I was really flattered that they were coming to one of my shows, because I felt like that validates me as part of Manchester royalty and music or something.

They've been selling my merchandise as well.

I can never repay them.

I couldn't even try for putting in the effort and their coming to waste their time on a loser like me.

[ Chuckles ] Tell you what, when I get back, could you just bring these back there and I'll sign some?

Maybe.

If you think that's a good idea.

I think that's a great idea.

What about Dennis and Lois signing it?

Then we're definitely not shifting any.

[ Laughs ] No.

We'll have to pay them to take it.

[ Applause ] ♪♪♪ I took the week off to do this tour with Damon, and the first night in the village, everything was great, and then the second morning I woke up and I couldn't -- I had no power on my side.

I got to the show, and when I got out of the car, I couldn't walk.

I had to hold on because I had no balance and I was like, "Help.

Somebody come and help me."

♪ Never stop living here ♪ ♪ Till it eats the heart from your soul ♪ ♪ Keeps down the sound of your ♪ ♪ Silent sigh ♪ ♪ Silent sigh, silent sigh ♪ Kahlert: All these people came over and like, "Lady, are you okay?

Get you an ambulance?"

"No, no, no, no, no, I have to go to the show."

♪ ...all move me down ♪ "I'll be alright.

[ Chuckles ] We'll worry about this later."

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Thank you.

[ Cheers and applause ] It's good.

They do what everyone should be doing, living life on their terms, but I do worry about their health, 'cause obviously, they're not getting any younger.

None of us are.

And their outlook is inspiring.

It's amazing.

At that age, most people want a cup of cocoa at 9:00, put their feet up, and they're out rock-and-rolling.

I don't know how they find the energy.

I don't.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ [ Brakes screech ] -Elbow.

-Elbow.

And you have Morrissey.

Just like the real thing, a bobble head.

Right here.

That's Thomas Street and Oldham Street.

This is, like, old Manchester.

This is where I want my ashes to be thrown out.

Right here.

Dennis wants to be buried, but -- So we'll bury him under the... Well, I've been coming since '68.

We've come at least twice a year, every year.

More than that.

At least twice a year, yeah.

Over 100 times, I would say, we've been here.

Somehow, I met the nicest people here in Manchester.

It's like I feel as much at home here, if not more so, than in the States.

It's just easy.

They probably recognized something that's genuine and from the heart.

There's no b*****t about Mancunian people, whether it be on the street or in a band, you know?

Not too dissimilar from how New Yorkers are, you know?

We're a similar breed.

Oh, the Manchester Evening News Arena.

All the bands have played there.

Everybody.

A good chunk of the music that has impressed me over the years has originated here.

If it wasn't for Factory Records and Joy Division, New Order and Happy Mondays, there wouldn't have been a Manchester scene.

Okay.

So this is one of our oldest songs, And I'm going to play it for two of our oldest fans, Dennis and Lois.

-Thank you!

-Wherever you are, my darlings, this is for you.

[ Joy Division's "Ceremony" playing ] When I was about 13, I didn't really travel anywhere, but I found the Beatles and Rolling Stones, and I wanted to see the place where they came from because it wasn't Brooklyn, and I went to England on my own.

I had to see this.

♪♪♪ I'd go to England with a train pass, get an "NME".

The "NME" -- It was a Bible.

Look to see what bands were playing, get on the train, go there.

♪ She asked me straight to hold me ♪ ♪ But then again, the same old story ♪ ♪ So, we'll travel oh, so quickly ♪ ♪ Travel first with me and walk this time ♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪ I'll break them all, no mercy shown ♪ ♪ Heaven knows, it's got to be this ♪ ♪ Avenues all lined with trees.

♪ ♪ Picture me and then you'll stand watching ♪ Kahlert: England was just amazing, and then when I met Dennis, we both went together.

We're both the same person.

[ Chuckles ] ♪ ...forever ♪ ♪ Watching her ♪ ♪ Forever ♪ They're iconic in the way that they were there when a movement started.

When Manchester and New Order came to America, and the way it affected the world was because of New York.

And people like them.

♪ Where did he go?

♪ ♪♪♪ You tend to pick up friends when you're small, and those friends are the ones that last right the way through.

When you get to that period as a band, when you're huge, when you can't tell your friends from your enemies or whatever, people like Dennis and Lois are very, very important.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ You should never underestimate the friendship value.

[ Cheers and applause ] Anderson: Our last night in Manchester, we figured we'd do something special, especially since Frank Sidebottom is going to be playing a show in Manchester.

Alright.

Test, test.

[ Keyboard warbling ] Blimey, what's that noise?

It is, of course, Frank Sidebottom!

Yes, that's me, Frank Sidebottom, international showbiz superstar.

[ Growling ] Anderson: We've known Frank for many, many years.

He's one of the earlier people we met in our Manchester career.

♪♪♪ When he first came over the first time, he had a duffel bag with him with his costume, and customs stops him, says, "What do you have in your bag?"

Frank said, "I have a ventriloquist dummy, I have a papier maché head, and I have a Casio keyboard."

♪ Hello ♪ Anderson: They asked where he was staying.

He said, "I'm staying with Dennis and Lois."

And they said, "Well, what's their address?"

He goes, "Man, I don't know."

"Well, where do they live?"

-"I don't know."

-"What's their last names?"

Kahlert: "It's Dennis and Lois."

Oh, then he says, "Well, do you know Madonna's last name?"

Anderson: He discovered America wasn't so bad, so he came back three other times.

Each time, he stayed with us.

Thank you!

[ Cheers and applause ] Kahlert: Get all of them you can.

Eh... What's this one?

Oh, we don't have this one.

Dr. Constantine?

We have that?

Yeah, it doesn't look familiar.

I don't I would say no because I don't remember the gas mask.

Based on that alone, I would say no.

Alright.

Yeah.

This.

This.

This.

Look, a silver Dalek.

Exterminate!

And that's it.

No more?

Man: For this visit.

Last time you were in, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club were with you.

They're coming in April.

They're going to be here on tour.

Yay!

Yay!

Forbidden Planet!

Yay!

I paid their rent for the next month.

[ Chuckles ] -Joey Ramone's pants.

-Yeah.

Day: She told me the story.

Every piece of this house is like a bit of homage of, you know -- Yeah.

Yeah.

Get it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's got Happy Mondays on the wall over there.

I know.

I've seen that.

Yeah.

Is this the kitchen?

-Yep.

-Yeah.

We need to clear some room!

See all these bottles?

These are all from different shows and concerts I went to.

Kahlert: I would take the empty bottle because they drank out of it.

Is there any beer left in them?

No.

Dad.

[ Laughs ] We don't really have any furniture.

We just have stuff.

♪♪♪ Their collecting is obsessive.

It's a compulsion of some kind.

Lopez: Every square inch was filled with things that make them happy.

Toys.

Memorabilia.

Records.

It's like where they sleep is the least important thing.

It was amazing.

It's like going to a museum.

I was like, "Wow."

It's like a time capsule.

This stuff that's brought ages ago is now buried deeper and deeper.

Reeder: It's not about the money it's worth.

It's about the meaning of what it means.

Kahlert: I think it's really important that you remember where you come from, your history.

Take great comfort in toys because those were the happy moments of your childhood.

O'Neill: You could never have a kid there, but if you were a kid, you'd just fall in love with it because there's so many toys.

Anderson: We have a Spider-Man room, a Batman room.

We have a "Simpsons" room.

The basement is vinyl and "Star Wars".

Near the furnace, we have some Freddy Krueger stuff because we just -- from the films, he always was the janitor who was stoking the furnaces.

And the front room is all "Doctor Who" stuff.

All enemies of the Daleks must be destroyed!

Oh, my God.

This house, I love.

Oh, Godzilla!

Oh my goodness.

They're living here about 12 years, I guess.

And I have never seen a light on in 12 years.

I am overwhelmed.

Look at this.

Oh, my.

I just can't comprehend it.

Oh, my God.

Kahlert: Look at Dracula.

We got him the first year we moved in.

The first Christmas, we got that Dracula.

Every Christmas, we were getting one.

Underneath the table -- -Oh.

-He's really good, that Nosferatu under there in the corner.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Look at that.

Frank: Oh, that's scary.

Lenore: They're wonderful people.

They're quiet.

We don't bother them, they don't bother us, you know, and they enjoy what they're doing, and I think that's wonderful.

You know, I wish I knew half the bands and things that, you know, they know.

I mean, at my age, I don't think I'd be able to travel that far to go see my favorite band, you know?

But as neighbors go, they're great.

Anderson: I got two e-mails there.

Kahlert: What e-mails?

From our tenant... Yeah?

...thanking us for giving them a rent reduction for Christmas.

Rock and roll.

Man: And you just gave a tenant a free month for Christmas?

No, a rent reduction.

A rent reduction?

Yeah.

We gave our two tenants a rent reduction just because it's Christmas.

Give them one month, a couple of hundred dollars off the rent.

It's just something to do, you know?

So what do you guys think of Christmas?

It's baby Jesus's birthday.

I mean, people were all worried about giving gifts and "Oh, what did you get me?"

and "Oh, how much did you spend on me?"

And I think it's about people being close with each other and just being there for each other.

It's not about the gifts.

To keep in the festive mood, what better, since they're all dead and you don't have to worry about royalties probably on this one -- [ Laughs ] -- the Three Stooges.

♪ In the garbage dump ♪ ♪ On a fine December day ♪ ♪ We found a beat up piece of junk ♪ ♪ An old time open sleigh ♪ ♪ So then we bought a horse ♪ ♪♪♪ We went to this Prince concert on Sunday.

It was fantastic, and I went to work on Monday and I was feeling really weak.

I felt like I was going to collapse, and I made it home, and I went to get out of the car and I just, like, sunk, just collapsed.

So the neighbor across the street comes over and he looks at me.

"I'll call 911."

So the ambulance came.

They just threw a sheet over me and put me in the stretcher and took me to the hospital.

When I first went in, I couldn't move at all, and they picked me up from the stretcher.

I mean, I couldn't move my arms, I couldn't walk.

It really scared me.

They thought I had a stroke.

They did all kinds of tests, but they couldn't find anything.

So I guess it's not that bad, huh?

I don't know what happened, but I had the same thing, like, six months ago.

In my practice, I take care of lots of red zebras, things that have not been figured out, and they come to me with three feet of medical records and tests.

"Please help me.

No one's been able to figure out why.

Our major complaint is pain in her back, lateral thigh, down her leg."

She thought she originally injured it at a Oasis concert in a mosh pit situation, but ever since that event, it's been getting worse.

Kahlert: I thought, "Okay, I'm getting a bit older, and yeah, I did a lot of rock-and-rolling."

So I went for physical therapy, but it didn't get any better.

It's gotten me really crazy because I just want to get better, or I want to get told "This is what it is," you know?

-So anyway, here I am in life.

-Yeah.

Anderson: Ho-ho-ho.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Ah.

Dee Dee should be in here, right?

Anderson: Dee Dee, I think, is in... Oh.

There's Johnny.

Yeah, I see it.

Well... he was the same age.

1948.

Legendary.

Dennis, look at his eyes.

I know.

The eyes are very spooky.

It's like he's staring you down.

Kahlert: We got attracted to them because when some idea went in their head, they went and did it.

There's no regrets about "Well, yeah, I should have done that."

Do what you really like and hell with what everybody thinks.

No matter what people say, you have to do what you think, and that's what we've been trying to do.

-Here's Dee Dee Ramone.

-Where's Dee Dee?

Boy: My dad works here.

I love Ramones.

My dad loves them, too.

Kahlert: We were friends to them.

We worked with Ramones.

for a long time.

Yeah, in the beginning, we sold their T-shirts and stuff.

Boy: I have a bunch of those T-shirts.

Dee Dee Ramone is right over here.

See that one black statue right there?

Right here.

Dee Dee Ramone.

Beer cans.

[ Chuckles ] Money.

Cigarettes.

Anderson: It's great.

It's Dee Dee.

No big monument.

Just Dee.

Kahlert: Yeah.

Beneath the shade of a tree.

[ Indistinct chatter ] Yeah, you can have Georgia peach French toast.

Please.

Coffee, French toast, bacon, please.

Woman: French toast and bacon?

That's all?

That's all.

And I want coffee with -- I want a Grand Slam.

Two eggs, sunny side up.

Aren't you supposed to get that free because it's your birthday?

Oh, yes.

It's my birthday.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Mi cumpleaños.

We've done something like 12 cities in a little over two weeks, two and a half weeks.

It was short enough, and it ended officially on Lois's birthday, so it just seemed like it was fate, almost, that we should be here.

I thought, "At this age, how many more tours can we do?"

I mean, you want to, but physically, can you?

Man: How has it been physically and mentally?

My bags have bags.

[ Chuckles ] I feel rejuvenated.

[ Both laugh ] ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ You think, "F**k, we've been on a bus for the last, like, 17 hours, and I've been sleeping for 10 of them," and they're here on time, like, every day.

It's kind of cool.

♪ Okay, I could live without it ♪ ♪ Were you ever my age?

No, I doubt it ♪ How often have you been asked if they're your grandparents?

I think Five times I've been asked if they're my parents.

Parents?

Parents.

I've been asked a couple of times if they're my grandparents, which means that I'm younger looking than you.

Obviously.

♪ Blow, blow, blow it up ♪ ♪ Blow, blow, blow it up ♪ ♪ Blow, blow, blow it up ♪ ♪ Blow it up, blow it up ♪ It's a struggle.

Not sleeping a lot.

I can't walk too well.

I don't know.

But we've seen tons of bands, but this one is just -- It's like you fall in love and decide that first day, when you're in love, it's like, "Oh."

And we've not been in love with anything so strongly.

Right?

Yeah.

There's some power there.

♪ Blow, blow, blow it up ♪ ♪ Blow, blow, blow it up ♪ You feel quite sort of privileged that they're doing this, and you feel like you're not doing anything in return.

Yeah, I just have a kind of urge to look after them for some reason.

Like, I have a maternal instinct.

I just run beers out, chips, food, if I can find it, water.

♪♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] Have we figured out what we're going to give her for her 65th?

I bought some presents today.

♪ Blow it up, blow it up, blow it up ♪ [ Cheers and applause ] Three, two, one.

Wait.

One.

Happy birthday!

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ Happy birthday, dear Lois ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ Happy birthday.

Ah.

[ Laughter ] Well, I would have bought that for sure.

But they're real frogs.

Anderson: They're really, really good.

♪♪♪ A roadie friend of ours, Crummy, from Manchester, he called us in the middle of the night one night and said there was just a piece in the newspaper.

"Have you heard?

Frank's got cancer."

And I said, "What?"

♪♪♪ Chris Sievey, who created the comedy character Frank Sidebottom, died of cancer at the age of 54.

Woman: Now, he may have had a cult following, but the unveiling of a statue of comic character Frank Sidebottom attracted hundreds of people today.

A life size bronze statue was unveiled in the center of Timperley village near Altrincham.

Kahlert: We're all connected in this world and we should give each other attention, because the next day, we may not be there.

With Frank, we never thought that he would die the next day.

Anderson: It's so easy, especially with the pacing of the world today, to just take friends for granted.

It's not intentionally.

Kahlert: "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow."

Anderson: But yeah, whenever, whenever, Friends are a precious commodity.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Ow.

I can't lift my leg up.

I went out at lunch time, and my leg collapsed and I almost fainted.

-You fell?

-I got dizzy, yeah.

Well, I said, "I don't think I can work anymore today."

So I can't walk anymore, and I don't know why.

I'm afraid this thing's going to get worse.

It was very sad because you realize this person that has this inner vibrance is beginning to struggle physically, and all these things she loves to do, she can't do anymore.

And I think that's growing.

Kahlert: I told them I don't think I should work anymore because I can't do it.

I haven't been upstairs or downstairs in like six months.

-Yeah.

-Six months.

And I sleep in there.

♪♪♪ Anderson: I need an escape.

I don't forget problems, but I don't want to focus totally on it to the point of becoming neurotic to it, which is where it was getting.

The only thing that was really making us happy was going to gigs, I mean, and that slowed down.

We only went to one gig this week, which is pretty slow for us.

♪♪♪ Kahlert: We're in Brooklyn at some bar that this band is going to play in, that Dennis is in there already, but I can't go in.

It's not worth it.

[ Indistinct chatter ] ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Anderson: It's awkward for me when I'm there without Lois.

I don't feel complete.

I don't feel I'm sharing the experience with her, and it's all about sharing.

♪♪♪ ♪ Is there life beyond the neutral zone?

♪ ♪♪♪ ♪ I'm talking about neutral, baby ♪ Anderson: I'm not happy about the situation, but if she isn't comfortable doing something, f**k it.

Don't do it.

♪ Neutral, neutral, neutral ♪ [ Indistinct singing ] ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] Yes, I cry every day.

I do, because I can't stand this.

And Dennis has been putting up with me.

I cry, too.

Ow.

Solazzo: Recently, she was tested by a very well known neurologist, who did MRIs of her brain, her spine, and also did electrodiagnostic studies.

I got to sit over here.

Ow.

He concluded that she has MS, multiple sclerosis.

Kahlert: This problem got me really depressed because everything was taken away from me, all the things I loved, going to shows and standing in the front and dancing was taken away.

My day job was taken away from me.

If all the things you know and all the things you depend on your being, it suddenly stopped, and if you have no control over it and it's not going to go away, it's not going to change, it's really scary.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Langford: Personally, I begged them to take it easy, but they're always off on their next adventure.

So part of me says more power to her, and the other part of me wants to strap them down and, you know, lock them up somewhere, let them have a rest for a while, but they're not interested in that.

It's thrilling still for them.

What keeps Dennis and Lois on the road, where others fear to tread?

What keeps us all going?

What keeps us -- It's the love of music.

Campion: I think about the struggle, the sheer will of "I got to get to that rock show," and what it gives them, I think, is their medicine.

You know, I think that is their sustainability.

I think that is what keeps Lois vital.

Goodwin: That seems to be an imperative in them now.

They really want to fit a lot in and they want to be in their spiritual home, which is Manchester.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪ Blood of the lamb ♪ ♪ Music is our medicine ♪ ♪ Take both my hands ♪ ♪ Music is our medicine ♪ ♪ Life is a dream ♪ ♪ Music is our medicine ♪ ♪ A simple theme ♪ ♪ Music is our medicine ♪ Anderson: Now it's a necessity to get in before doors are open, so that we can stake an area that is comfortable for us, what's safest for us.

Kahlert: Because I have a wheelchair, I can't always be in the front like I used to, but at least I can hear it.

♪ A simple theme ♪ ♪ Music is our medicine ♪ ♪♪♪ All year round, you can always have Sigourney Weaver in your pocket.

Kahlert: Keep her in your pocket.

[ Laughs ] Thank you.

We wanted to give you many gifts, but we couldn't find good stuff.

We brought him a little toy.

He carries with him, and it reminds him of us.

Dennis and Lois really just seemed to connect with what I'm doing.

♪ I wanted to change the world ♪ ♪ But I could not even change my underwear ♪ Anderson: There's some music, if you're down, it gives you strength.

It's like recharging a battery.

Grant: ♪ ...destroy your celebration ♪ ♪ And you should probably get down on your knees and pray ♪ ♪ It's really fun to look embarrassed all the time ♪ Kahlert: We're all related in this world, and even though we don't want to admit it, we need somebody else to help us.

You cannot do this alone.

The singer of a band needs the band.

♪ Can I please see your license and your registration?

♪ ♪ I don't know what to want from this world ♪ We all have to play a part in helping each other, and I think that's where this music comes in.

♪ You really have no right to want anything from me at all ♪ ♪ Why don't you take it out on somebody else?

♪ ♪ Why don't you bore the s**t out of somebody else?

♪ ♪ Why don't you tell somebody else that they're selfish ♪ ♪ A weakling, coward, a pathetic fraud?

♪ ♪♪♪ John has physical problems, and hey, I'm going through that right now.

He's in front of me singing about what I'm going through.

♪♪♪ It brings a lot to the artist to have somebody there that gets you.

It would be nice for them to know that the artist is getting just as much as they're getting from the music, you know?

It's a beautiful thing.

♪ You're just a sucker ♪ ♪ But we'll see who gets the last laugh ♪ ♪ Who knows?

Maybe you'll get to be the next ♪ ♪ Queen of Denmark ♪ [ Cheers and applause ] Thank you very much.

You've been amazing.

They're interesting characters.

Do you know what I mean?

An interesting story and an interesting life.

Well, we'll see you next week.

Bye.

Okay.

Oh.

Oh, wait.

Okay.

John Grant -- he said, "Oh, my parents are your age."

He says, "They never go out.

They don't want to do anything.

They just want to sit home, watch TV."

He says, "I wish my parents were like you."

I had that coffee right before we left.

What should I do?

GPS: Exit left, three miles, then hit the roundabout.

But can you pee before the roundabout?

See, I'm just -- This is it, right?

I pee, you pee, we all pee.

[ Chuckles ] Alright.

Let's go.

Alright.

Let's go.

I'm going pee!

I want to be part of the party.

Kahlert: We're Americans.

We can pee anyplace.

Anderson: It's our constitutional right.

[ Both laugh ] [ Beep ] Kahlert: Dennis and Lois.

We've done a terrible thing.

We're going to Frisco and LA to see Elbow.

Oh, my God.

I got to rest up.

[ Cheers and applause ] This next song's dedicated to our very, very good friends, Dennis and Lois.

[ Cheers and applause ] Okay.

Garvey: When Lois started getting bad on her feet, I remember her telling me -- she was saying, "New York's so kind to a lady that needs help.

People give up their seat for me.

People open doors for me."

And she put a finger on what I love about the city, and that's kind of what became the song "New York Morning".

♪ The first to put a simple truth in words ♪ ♪ Binds the world in a feeling all familiar ♪ ♪ 'Cause everybody owns the great ideas ♪ ♪ And it feels like there's a big one round the corner ♪ ♪ Me, I see a city and I hear a million voices ♪ ♪ Planning, drilling, welding ♪ ♪ Carrying their fingers to the nub ♪ ♪ Reaching down into the ground, stretching up into the sky ♪ ♪ Why?

Because they can ♪ ♪ They did and do so you and I can be together ♪ ♪♪♪ Lois said, "You're the big test."

And I said, "What do you mean?"

And she said, "I'm not able to get out of this chair, but I've been to a couple of concerts and I've been able to get up and walk around after, you know, that side of my body starts working again."

♪ Oh, my God, New York can talk ♪ ♪ Somewhere in all that talk is all the answers ♪ Halfway through the concert, we look around, and Lois who stood up at the railings, dancing.

♪ And it feels like there's a big one 'round the corner ♪ ♪ The desire to part sure symphony ♪ So she reckons she's got to follow us on tour from now on in order to keep moving, and if we can't do that, then I'm just going to have to ring her and sing to her, make sure she can get about.

♪ And it feels like there's a big one 'round the corner ♪ ♪ The way the day begins ♪ ♪ Decides the shade of everything ♪ ♪ But the way it ends depends on if you're home ♪ ♪ For every soul, a pillow at a window, please ♪ ♪ In a modern Rome, where folk are nice to Lois ♪ [ Cheers and applause ] Thank you very much.

[ Cheers and applause ] Kahlert: There's a beginning and there's an end, but it's about the passion of life.

It's about doing what you love.

[ Beep ] Hi, it's Dennis and Lois.

It was the most incredible dedication.

It was absolutely amazing, and every bone in my body is killing me, but the band was worth driving to.

We love it.

[ Call hangs up ] You opened up the doors of your protected heart And let a total stranger pick it all apart All these shirts -- two rows back and front -- are what we did this year.

♪ Oh, yeah ♪ ♪ 'Cause black clouds only conceal the sun ♪ ♪ And just like that, you're the only one ♪ Ryder: Just by magic, we've got Dennis and Lois here tonight.

There you are, you two.

-The real Dennis and Lois.

-The real Dennis and Lois.

♪ That we together could set folks free ♪ No!

[ Laughter ] ♪ Now I'm swimming in the ocean that was once my tears ♪ ♪ A hurricane of joy has swept away my fears ♪ ♪ I've built an ark for the purpose of ♪ ♪ Floods of passion and floods of love ♪ ♪ You can't stop them and nor can I ♪ ♪ Gonna keep on going 'til the day we die ♪ ♪♪♪ [ Wormburner's "Two Kinds of People" playing ] ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪ It's a good round for a knockdown ♪ ♪ It's the right time of the night to call the fight ♪ ♪ And leave the pieces where they fall ♪ ♪ It's a long way from the freeway ♪ ♪ It's a long ride when you just can't find your stride ♪ ♪ And nobody's hangin' on your call ♪ ♪ There's two kinds of people make the world go 'round ♪ ♪ And you're not the kind to let that slow you down ♪ ♪ No, no, no, no ♪ ♪ It's good pay for a workday ♪ ♪ It's not something you love or you're too proud of ♪ ♪ But bit by bit, you rise above ♪ ♪ It's the right month of the year to have you here ♪ ♪ The ground gets cold, but the skies are clear ♪ ♪ And the angle of the sun ♪ ♪ Sure keeps the shadows on the run ♪ ♪ There's two kinds of people and they'll tell you so ♪ ♪ And the way some people talk, you'd never know ♪ ♪ And you're not the kind to make like all the rest ♪ ♪ But the way some people talk, you'd never guess ♪ ♪ They're just like all the rest ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪ ♪ It's a good time for the time zone ♪ ♪ It's good seeing a face that you've always known ♪ ♪ You'd think by now, it'd feel like home ♪ ♪ It's the right time of the night to call the fight ♪ ♪ To hold our hands up to the light ♪ ♪ 'Cause if it's flying off the shelves ♪ ♪ We must be buying what they sell ♪ ♪ There's all kinds of people and they're spread around ♪ ♪ In numbers I can't get my head around ♪ ♪ And I'm not the kind to say I told you so ♪ ♪ But the way some people are, you'd never know ♪ ♪ No, no, no, no ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪