[MUSIC] >>Welcome to A World of Difference: Embracing Neurodiversity.

Childhood.

A time for scraped knees, giggles, and friendships forged in PlayStation battles and shared bags of Doritos.

But for some children that Norman Rockwell portrait of connection can feel like an out of focus selfie.

That's because neurodivergent youth, those with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or other learning differences can experience loneliness at a higher rate than their peers.

For them, social cues can be confounding, interaction can feel like navigating a maze and fitting in can be a square peg, round hole conundrum.

While loneliness isn't an inherent part of neurodivergence, it can prove a formidable foe.

And for kids who learn differently, it can present unique challenges.

Yet the good news is that parents and caregivers can become the architects of connection by employing practical strategies for building social bridges, fostering understanding, and creating a world where their child feels seen, valued, and deeply connected.

In this episode, we meet a Massachusetts teenager whose parents are working to keep their autistic son ahead of the loneliness curve.

Next, our panel of national experts share strategies to help parents and caregivers help children who learn differently bridge the chasm of loneliness.

Later, you'll meet our latest difference maker, an award-winning social entrepreneur, scientist, and intersectional inclusion champion whose late diagnosis drove her passion to help others get the early help they need to thrive.

We begin with the Harvie family and a 13-year-old son, Teddy, whose parents have invested in equipping him with the social skills he needs to steer away from lonely street.

HealthDay's Special Correspondent Mabel Jong brings us the story.

>>Making friends.

It's an important part of childhood, but for neurodivergent children, forming social connections is often a struggle, one that can lead to loneliness and isolation.

Amanda and Ted Harvie remember the first time their son Teddy came home from elementary school feeling hurt and disconnected from his peers.

>>Teddy was a little bit upset and so, you know, I sort of stopped and said what's going on?

And Amanda said, "Ted, do you want to tell your dad what you told me?"

I forget what his exact words were, but it was something to the effect of, I just don't feel like I, I just feel different from everybody else.

And I just don't feel like I am, you know, I don't feel like I fit in.

>>I was crushed.

Because you can't be there all day to redirect anything or explain.

>>He was, you know, suffering in some level.

>>Amanda and Ted first heard the word autism to describe their son's learning differences when he was around six years old.

The official diagnosis came years later.

Teddy, who is now 13, remembers trying to make friends in second grade and feeling rejected.

He says his personality, which is affected by autism, was foreign to them.

>>They had like, this thing at the school called like, "The Buddy Bench" that's in the playground, where you sit on it and it says, if you see someone sitting on it, you should ask if they wanna play or something.

It didn't work.

You try making friends with people and they sort of shun you in some ways.

>>Teddy says he spent a lot of time alone when he was younger, which worried his parents.

>>That was probably our main concern and quite frankly, still is to this day.

Anytime we would have, you know, a sort of parent teacher meeting to find out how things are going in school, you know, they would tell us, we would hear about the academic stuff, but really in truth, we were mostly interested in understanding, you know, how's he getting along with his peer group?

Is he making friends and is he fitting in?

>>To help Teddy, Amanda and Ted enrolled him in social skills classes, found him a therapist, and eventually moved him to a private school.

>>Even in pre-K he was doing three hours at school and then two hours at a different school across town for kids with similar issues.

When he was in elementary we would also take him to an outside social skills class recommended by his doctor.

>>Teddy says the classes helped and he's still taking them in school.

One of the most important lessons he's learned... >>Let's say there's a lot of people who are working on something like a project and they need to focus.

And then you come in and start talking about something really loud.

That would be a moment where you'd wanna read the room and see if people are interested in that or are not and have to focus.

>>Amanda and Ted also started Teddy in activities to help him connect with other kids.

He joined a local swim team and started taking drum lessons.

>>What I like is that I have an instrument that I get to play and I get to play music for other people.

>>And as a family they talk a lot about the challenges of autism.

>>We have really great, open conversations with him.

He doesn't have to feel shame or hide any way that he's feeling with us and we just have an open line of communication.

>>That open line helped Teddy approach his parents about returning to the public middle school in his hometown.

The request made Amanda and Ted nervous, but Teddy convinced them it was the right move at the right time.

>>He was stuck on Beanie Babies Ty toys for a little while for a good chunk of time and he loved them.

And he said, "Remember when I would go up and, you know, boys would be playing football, and I'd run out in the middle of the field and say, 'Hey, do you guys like Ty toys?'"

And they would kind of look at him.

He didn't pick up on that then.

He said, "I can read the room now better."

>>And Teddy was right.

He says he's more confident and has a new group of friends who accept him for who he is.

>>It feels healthier, in my opinion, to be part of a group because you're actually doing stuff with friends and making connections and stuff.

It makes me feel like a part of that and not like, that outcast anymore.

>>His advice to other neurodivergent kids who are having a hard time making friends?

>>I'd say look for someone who you might have stuff in common with.

Maybe try and strike up a conversation with them and bring up something that they like.

Ask them what they like and see if you have something in common.

>>For A World of Difference, I'm Mabel Jong.

[MUSIC] >>Thanks Mabel.

Next, our experts dig into strategies for helping children with learning and attention issues build bridges, one connection at a time.

Danielle Heider is a Learning Specialist in the Center for Student Success at Beacon College in Leesburg, Florida.

Beacon is America's first accredited college or university dedicated to educating students with learning and attention issues.

Heider is also a certified rehabilitation counselor who served as a vocational rehabilitation counselor with the Florida Division of Vocational Rehabilitation.

Marissa Manzanares is a Licensed Creative Arts Therapist in private practice in Brooklyn, New York, who specializes in neurodivergence in children and adults.

Manzanares, who is neurodivergent, is an elected member of the Community Education Council for District 14 in Brooklyn, where she largely advocates for mental health and educational supports for neurodivergent students with wins including helping five schools in her district create sensory rooms for students.

Dr. Stephen Shore is a Clinical Associate Professor of Special Education at Adelphi University in New York.

Shore has spoken about autism at over 1000 conferences around the world and his experience of being a professor on the spectrum.

He has served as a media expert for outlets including ABC News, the BBC, Newsweek and CNN among others.

And authored or co-authored three books, including "Understanding Autism for Dummies," as well as creating book chapters on neurodivergent issues.

And we're gonna start our conversation with Danielle.

So from your experience, Danielle, what are the unique challenges neurodivergent children face in forming relationships and friendships?

>>Well, thank you for this question.

This is certainly a important question.

So it's important to recognize that everyone, including children who are neurodivergent, we're meant to live in community and have social networks.

So however, depending upon the diagnosis, some neurodivergent children might have difficulties in understanding social cues and boundaries.

They might have difficulties in understanding conflict resolution or they might even too become overstimulated depending upon social environments that they might find themselves in.

And then certainly there's a lot of different scenarios depending upon each individual child.

But some other common difficulties that I've heard about is just being able to stay focused when conversing with others expressing their feelings, and then also discerning how much to share and who to share with.

These are just some of the common ones that I've heard of and certainly as I said, it can definitely vary depending upon each child in their own circumstances.

>>All right.

So Marissa how can parents and caregivers recognize the signals and signs that their children are experiencing loneliness?

>>Yeah, well this is a great question because I'm sure it's top of mind for most parents.

And so what I would say is the first and most important thing is that each parent, whether your child is neurodiverse or not, understands your child's sensory profile.

So many of the things that Danielle was just speaking about, difficulty reading social cues, knowing how to pay attention during a conversation, environmental overstimulation, all of those things come from, you know, dysregulation of the sensory system.

And so if you know your child and their sensory profile well, then you're gonna understand their baseline, and you wanna understand their baseline so that if and when the time comes that you are worried about some level of social isolation or loneliness, you can notice are they kind of just being them and they're on their baseline, you know, but something's going on developmentally, or is this not really who they are and they are off their baseline and we're starting to worry about that, right?

So number one, really understanding their sensory profile and their baseline and patterns, right?

So every neurodivergent person is extremely unique, like all human beings.

And we all have our patterns.

You know, some of us are extremely social and active, but might still feel lonely, while others might isolate more.

And so again, you really always kind of want us to make sure that they're on their own spectrum of what's normal for them.

And if there's anything outside of that you wanna figure out, is this something that's going on that's developmental, social-emotional, and if you're really not sure, then at the end of the day, depending on the age of your child, you always just wanna ask in a way that's socially appropriate.

And maybe also seek the guidance of a health professional.

But at the end of the day, you know, again, we tend to get very sensory dysregulated.

And that manifests in all many different types of ways.

And so things you'll wanna look for are obviously things like isolating, but also if your child tends to be somebody who's more quiet and likes more alone time, that might not necessarily be a marker for loneliness dysregulation.

>>So Dr.

Shore, we know that neurodivergence comes with many different diagnoses and I'm wondering whether there are distinct aspects of loneliness that impacts children who have a diagnosis of ADHD versus autism versus dyslexia, et cetera?

>>Well, I think what is most important is to understand the profile of the individual.

So, as Marissa just mentioned, you were talking about sensory profiles and you're also talking about emotional profiles, cognitive profiles, what the person is interested in.

And I think what is most important is to understand what are the strengths of the individual?

What do they like to do?

And then once we know that, we can work with the person's abilities in which to find others who have similar interests and develop a sense of belonging.

And I think that's key.

It's developing a sense of belonging.

Because we'll find people who are autistic, for example, and some may be extroverts.

Often we think of people with autism as being introverts.

However, I know many autistic people who are extroverts.

And because autism is a study of extremes, it's sort of like they're extroverts on steroids.

So, then we need to work with that.

There are others who may be more shy and we may need to find some strategies, as we will with the extrovert, on how to best interact with others.

And likewise, with ADHD, dyslexia, and other neurodivergent conditions, it's a matter of understanding that person's particular profile and working with that.

>>All right, thank you doctor.

So Danielle, is there any connection between masking and loneliness in children with learning differences?

>>The short answer to this is yes.

So masking is when a child or someone will essentially hide certain characteristics of their diagnosis.

And we often see this in higher concentrations with women versus men.

However, we have to be able to explore why someone is gonna mask.

And typically someone masks because they are wanting to feel accepted and they feel like they have to mask.

So, that social conformity and social pressure.

So with that there are definitely things that parents and caregivers will want to take a look at.

Because one of the things is that when you mask, right, you're not necessarily presenting your authentic self, right?

Which can lead not only to loneliness and just feeling that sense of rejection, but then it can also feel like burnout present as burnout, exhaustion.

And then the other part of that too is that it can also begin to impact a child's mental health.

And when it begins to do that, and parents start to see their child might feel more agitated or they might see that they are observing behaviors that are kind of out of their their baseline, right?

So with that, you know, a parent's gonna want to first sit down and talk with the child themselves and see if they even recognize what they're actually doing.

And then certainly they might also wanna chat with their teachers and see if there's a behavioral pattern going on.

But if masking begins to, you know, lead to burnout, exhaustion, all those typical things that might happen with that, and it begins to also impact their activities of daily living, then they might want to seek out some assistance from a mental health provider.

>>Watch the full ask the expert segment on our website at awodtv.org if you wanna learn more about this topic.

You can also watch or listen on Facebook, YouTube, or on your favorite podcasting platform.

[MUSIC] Next, let's meet our latest difference maker.

Samantha Hiew's childhood in Malaysia was a blast.

She was a live wire, buzzing with energy, always on the move, whether it was tearing around outside at school, or diving into sports.

But then came secondary school and things took a turn.

Suddenly her usual outlets for all that boundless energy were limited.

Her grades went south and she became withdrawn.

Fast forward a couple of decades and Dr. Hiew at age 40 got schooled.

Turns out her childhood Energizer Bunny mode and the tendency to feel overwhelmed had a name, ADHD.

And Hiew hasn't sat on this revelation.

She launched the London-based ADHD Girls, a platform that flips the script on the labels given to neurodivergent folks.

Her mission?

Helping girls see themselves beyond the diagnosis.

Not that she stopped there.

Hiew has shared her insights in masterclasses and advised big shots like Meta, SAP and more.

She even orchestrated the first ADHD Best Practice at Work conference, bringing neurodivergence and the corporate world together in the same conversation.

Correspondent Luisa Ardila brings us this story from across the pond.

[MUSIC] >>Social media these days is full of stories of adults discovering their neurodivergence later in life.

For Dr. Samantha Hiew, that revelation came at age 40.

And it not only changed her career trajectory, but sparked a mission.

>>I see myself as somebody who has created a platform where I could increase the representation of people who are like me, you know?

Because when I started, there were really not enough of us, you know?

And it made this journey really hard.

>>The journey that would ultimately land Samantha on stage speaking in front of crowds started in a lab.

In school, Samantha got interested in biology and eventually she pursued a PhD in Cancer Research.

But her love of science was not enough to overcome her symptoms.

>>When I finished my PhD, I lost confidence in myself as a scientist because I was working in a field where I love the knowledge, I love learning, and I love, you know, collecting different like, ideas together and testing them in the lab.

But what I wasn't good at was a part of my ADHD where I couldn't help that I wasn't consistent, you know, with my experiments.

You know, I was working with cell lines where I had to grow in the lab, in cultures, I then, you know, forget to look after my cell lines, seeing some of them overgrow.

And then I get to a point where, you know, like I didn't really trust my results.

>>Samantha says that after going through an existential crisis, she found a new career in writing, but things really took off when she finally began to understand why her mind worked differently.

>>When the pandemic hit, I was a second time mom, and at a time, you know, life became more challenging than usual.

And so it made me really, you know, try and get some answers about, you know, why I was more overwhelmed, you know, than most people would be.

And so I came across somebody who was talking about ADHD and not just ADHD, but ADHD as in how it presents in women.

And everything that she said was, you know, what I identified with.

And so that got me, you know, to pursue and open up this whole world where I spoke to other women who, you know, have the neurodevelopmental condition.

So, that gave me more answers.

You know, I was looking for a place where I could be happy and engaged and interested in the same way that I was in the early days of being a scientist.

And so when I was looking into ADHD, it really helped me think that actually, my value is in explaining to people the traits and the manifestations of neurodivergence, that you see where that originates.

Because I like to say that there's always an explanation behind each behavior and behavior is a form of communication.

And if we could get curious and understand that actually, there's a reason behind everything, you know, down to the fact that with someone with ADHD, you have an entirely different brain and neurochemistry altogether.

And so of course we are going to be different, you know?

And trying to make neurodivergence fit into this world and do as everyone else does, is the problem in the first place.

>>For students navigating the world with ADHD and their parents, Samantha offers some advice.

>>I would always say, look for the helpers.

You know, people who are kind to you.

And any kind of nurturing teachers, you know, that you could find in your corner.

Anyone who is kind enough to give you some time, you know, to really see you for who you are, and the things that you are good at.

You know, because there's no coincidence that anyone with the neurodivergents who managed to get anywhere in life has had this charismatic adult, somebody who, you know, shone a light on them and made them believe in themselves.

And also, you know, help work them to their strengths.

So that can really change, you know, your entire life.

My advice for parents raising children with learning differences is to advocate for them in the school setting, you know, so that they can at least get the support that they need within the school environment because that really dictates so much of the development of their self-esteem.

And also, you know, where they go in life.

And then in the home, like anything that would help, you know, charge the neurodivergent brain, in terms of ADHD just introducing more movement, having a structure and routine to your day.

Because living in typical chaos, like, you really crave structure and routine, and to make sure that you feed them with the right foods because everything starts from the gut.

You know, the gut is the second brain.

And in order to have a healthy brain, you need a good gut and good new nutrition.

Make sure they sleep well, you know, and a lot of lifestyle factors involved as well.

>>Sharing these tools and more is how Samantha sees herself helping other women and girls with ADHD thrive in society.

Through her social impact company called ADHD Girls, she's helping women find ways to excel in all aspects of their lives, and also transform the way employers manage their neurodivergent workforce.

>>Creating ADHD Girls, even though it wasn't obvious at the time where it was going to go, but looking back now in hindsight is a beautiful thing, isn't it?

It's a combination of all the skills and interests and strengths that I have accumulated over the 10 years and the 20 years of being a scientist and living in existential crisis, exploring into so many different places, and they all come together.

So I feel like right now I'm plugged into this place where I could really make a huge impact.

And I needed to know like, how I would use this platform, in a way that is more authentic to me and could generate the most impact on people's lives.

>>For A World of Difference, I'm Luisa Ardila.

[MUSIC] >>Thanks Luisa.

And congratulations Samantha Hiew for making a difference.

And that does it for this edition of A World of Difference: Embracing Neurodiversity.

I'm Darryl Owens.

I'll see you back here next time.

You can watch episodes of A World of Difference on the Beacon College Facebook and YouTube channels, and on the show's website, awodtv.org.

The website also provides tip sheets and other resources for your parenting journey.

You can watch the show from the PBS app available on your favorite streaming device, and you can listen on your favorite podcasting platform.

Thank you for watching and supporting A World of Difference.

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