VOICEOVER (VO): The nation's favorite antiques experts, £200 each and one big challenge.

Cuz I'm going to declare war.

Why?

VO: Who can make the most money buying and selling antiques as they scour the UK?

This is hard.

VO: The aim is trade up and hope each antique turns a profit.

Come on!

VO: But it's not as easy as you might think - and things don't always go to plan.

Push!

VO: So will they race off with a huge profit, or come to a grinding halt?

Whose side are you on?

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip!

VO: While not exactly faster than a speeding bullet - ha!

- our antiques superheroes Catherine Southon and Philip Serrell are racing through Scotland.

PHILIP: Isn't this glorious countryside?

Do you know they've got their own breed of cow up here?

CATHERINE: You are full of wonderful facts.

PHILIP: Of rubbish, yeah!

VO: You said it.

Their mission - buy low, sell high and do whatever it takes to beat each other come auction time.

CATHERINE: It's just not fair - you are well ahead.

I have to beat you.

VO: So far this week, Philip's 35 years of experience have led him to make choices which are really quite mad.

PHILIP: There's every chance that everybody else is gonna think I'm stark, raving bonkers.

What can I say?

VO: But much to Catherine's consternation, he's cleaned up at auction, not once... VO: ..but twice!

VO: Which is why the £200 he started the week with has now grown into an impressive £442.36.

I'm gonna be positive and I'm gonna turn it all around and today is gonna be the day.

VO: Meanwhile, newcomer Catherine Southon has employed various strategies in order to beat her middle-aged nemesis.

She's been feisty... Give this poor man some more money!

Whose side are you on?!

Not on yours, that's for sure!

VO: ..she's been cheeky... CATHERINE: Where's your daughter?

Does she give better prices?

VO: ..and she's been up to no good at a car boot sale in Perth.

What you should do, when Phil Serrell comes up, is double your prices.

VO: Huh!

But even so, her initial £200 stake has only increased by £49.38.

That means Philip's £200 in the lead!

Wow!

CATHERINE: I'm gonna be seriously competitive now, Philip.

PHILIP: I can't stand competitive women!

VO: This week's road trip is taking us from the northeast of Scotland across the border to England, through the Lake District and on to Liverpool.

Today we're kicking off in Glenluce - a small village in the county of Dumfries and Galloway - and we'll end this leg with an auction in Carlisle.

VO: Without a doubt, Glenluce is the perfect place to get away from it all.

This is literally in the middle of nowhere.

VO: But it's also home to Dervaird Farm, the rugged and rural location of the Glenluce Antiques Centre.

CATHERINE: "Antiques Farm"!

That doesn't look very promising, does it?!

PHILIP: You are gonna find something here.

CATHERINE: I'm gonna find my treasure, aren't I?

PHILIP: Yeah.

CATHERINE: Ciao.

PHILIP: God bless, darling.

See you later on.

CATHERINE: See you later.

Wish me luck.

Well, not too much!

VO: This family business began in Wales, but 23 years ago, the Jones family were so impressed by a holiday in southwest Scotland, they decided to move lock, stock and barrel to Glenluce, and today their son, Chris, runs the show.

CATHERINE: This is a fine place you've got here.

CATHERINE: Oh!

I think I might actually have to buy him.

He's pretty cute.

Oh, we could work out a... Is he for sale?

Oh, aye - we could work out a price!

CATHERINE: He's lovely.

CATHERINE: Right, I'm in desperate need of a bargain.

CHRIS: They're quite unusual there - the old slides.

CATHERINE: So these are the lantern slides that you drop into the magic lantern... CHRIS: Mm-hm.

..and then you project it onto the screen?

CATHERINE: Oh, they're quite interesting, aren't they?

VO: The magic lantern was a great favorite of the Victorians, originally powered by candlelight.

VO: It projected images from fairytales to striptease, although there's nothing saucy here, I fancy.

CATHERINE: They're all of dinosaurs.

CATHERINE: These are pterodactyls.

How many have you got?

Probably 20 of them, I think, or something like that.

CATHERINE: How much did you want for these?

50 on the set.

CATHERINE: 50?

CHRIS: £50.

Oh, wow.

Because some them can fetch that each.

CHRIS: We sold one last year for 300.

CATHERINE: Really?

CHRIS: Just one slide.

What was that an image of?

Uh...an erotic image!

Well, that's the thing!

All these naughty ones - they're the ones that people want, don't they?

That's it, that's it.

CATHERINE: Yeah, but that's the thing - these ones, I think I'd be taking a bit of a risk.

CATHERINE: I couldn't do any more than 20, I don't think.

CHRIS: 25.

That will give you a chance.

How's that?

CATHERINE: I don't think I could go any more than 20.

CHRIS: Oh, go on, then - we'll do it for 20.

£20.

That'll give you a good chance.

A deal on that one.

It's a deal.

VO: But Catherine's not finished yet.

Pâté mold, anyone?

CATHERINE: That is quite nice, with the grouse on it, isn't it?

CHRIS: I could do you £10, would be the very best on it.

I think 10 is still gonna be a bit hard for me.

CATHERINE: Am I your worst customer?

CHRIS: Today so far, yeah!

Am I?

I'm your only customer so far today!

VO: In the nearby market town of Newton Stewart - known as the Gateway to the Galloway Hills - Philip's en route to the Douglas House Antique center.

PHILIP: I've got a feeling I'm gonna do alright in here.

I've got £440 to spend, and I'm gonna go and see if I can get some spent.

VO: Oops!

Steady!

I got a prick in the leg!

VO: Mustn't grumble.

After all, there's plenty to choose from in this lovely shop, and young Dave here is only too happy to take Philip's money.

PHILIP: Perhaps you could do me a favor.

That contraption on the top there - would it be possible to get that down and have a look at it?

Yeah, no problem.

VO: Actually, that contraption is a wool winder...

I think it's quite heavy, actually.

I'll get this... VO: ..well, it was!

Oh!

Nearly!

VO: VO: Oh, now it's broken, perhaps Philip can negotiate a discount.

PHILIP: What happens is you put, I think it's spools or reels of wool on there, then they come up there, through there, on there, and then you turn this, and then as you turn it, it measures, I think, the length of yarn... DAVE: Yes.

PHILIP: And when you've got to the appropriate length in a skein, that bell rings, doesn't it?

DAVE: Yeah.

This one is in awful condition.

Mm-hm.

Because this ebonized handle is split, the base is just gone to the dogs.

I'm gonna have to be really mean, really, really, really, really, really mean.

Sounds like it's gonna hurt.

Well it is gonna hurt, cuz in my eyes, it's like 20 quid's worth... Oh!

..in the condition it's in.

And that would be your best offer, would it?

About 20?

Dave, come here.

Just come and stand by me a second.

I don't say that to many men!

VO: Hello!

I'm gonna think about that.

I like that a lot.

VO: Much like Philip, Catherine's reluctant to put her hand in her pocket, so now Chris is trying to seduce her with Lalique - that's glassware by the way.

CATHERINE: Is it René, or is it after?

CHRIS: I think it's probably after.

CHRIS: It's a big old lump of Lalique.

CHRIS: Well, I was told it was 50s.

CATHERINE: I do like Lalique but I love the sort of pieces with the, you know, with the fish or the birds or something like that, but that one... You like the £3,000 pieces.

I do, yeah.

It doesn't do an awful lot... CHRIS: That's something you want to throw at a burglar.

VO: I don't know about that!

René Lalique was a French designer and manufacturer, famous for his glass creations, from perfume bottles to chandeliers to car mascots.

VO: And despite his death in 1945, the company he named after himself continues to flourish.

CATHERINE: What did you say on that?

320.

I could do... Now, what did I tell you I had?

I told you I had no money.

Well, the very best I could do on that is 140.

CATHERINE: It is in absolute perfect nick, isn't it?

CHRIS: It is in perfect condition.

Could it be 100?

It couldn't.

The very, very, very best on it would be 130.

CATHERINE: Can I think?

CHRIS: You can.

Can I think about that one?

I'll maybe throw a couple of things together, get a deal going.

CATHERINE: Will we?

Well, you never know.

I like it.

We live in hope.

VO: Inspired to carry on shopping, Catherine's next object of interest is a very unusual paperweight.

That is a section out of the cable that runs from Great Britain to America, the first radio cable... Oh, right.

..and that's actually a cross section of the cable.

CHRIS: That's the copper core, that's where your signal would go through.

CATHERINE: I find that quite interesting.

The thing is with something like that, it's an unusual piece.

Somebody likes it on their desk, because once they've heard the story, they can relay it back to a friend, you know?

CATHERINE: That's it - that is it.

That's why I like...

I love things this - real, real, real conversation pieces.

CATHERINE: How much do you want for this, Chris?

CHRIS: Well, it could be a tenner.

Can it be five?

It can be £5.

Can it be less than five?

It can't be less than five.

CATHERINE: Can you polish it up for me as well?

Oh, I could do... D'you want me to go and get a bit of wire wool and just do it now?!

Actually, if you can find a couple of bidders for it at the auction as well, that would be really helpful!

VO: Mm, they are getting on well.

While you're at it, a cheaper price on you-know-what.

CATHERINE: OK, so it all comes down to this lump.

The ball is in your court, as they say.

Oh... Grr.... Aagh!

I don't know whether to go for it or not...

I am the most indecisive person.

Can we say 100 and I'll go for it?

I can't do it, honestly.

CATHERINE: I don't think I will, actually.

I might turn away and regret this... You probably will.

Oh, don't say that!

I'm not bothered either way!

VO: While Catherine's in all of a dither, Philip is completely focused a very Scottish collectible.

PHILIP: As I've walked round, I've seen quite a few bits of Mauchline, and Mauchline is this transfer printed little woodware, and this is a little moneybox.

PHILIP: We've got another bit in here, haven't we?

And this is, like, an original piece of Mauchlineware, and it's of Morecambe New Pier.

It would've had, originally, a little tot glass in it, wouldn't it?

PHILIP: And the age of these is probably around about 1900 and 1905, I would've thought.

VO: Named after the town it was made in, Mauchline was produced from the 1820s onwards, and was sold all over the world, though production came to an abrupt halt in 1933, when the factory burnt to the ground.

I gotta come to some decisions here.

Can you take my 20 quid on that contraption?

I was hoping for...40?

I tell you what - I'll give you 25 quid for it.

That's it, me finished.

Go on, then.

OK. You're a gentleman on that one.

Now, I'll be wanting to bid you 20 quid again for the two of those.

Oh, 'eck!

It's a hard day this, innit?

PHILIP: What about if I give you 50 quid for the whole lot?

DAVE: Yeah, OK. PHILIP: Alright?

OK, we'll go for that.

You're a gentleman.

Thank you very much indeed.

I'd better count some money now, hadn't I?

PHILIP: This is the painful bit.

VO: Lovely.

Having walked away reluctantly from the Lalique, Catherine's back on the prowl for something offbeat.

CHRIS: A carved hippo's quite wacky.

A piece of ebony.

CATHERINE: It's quite nice, actually, isn't it?

CHRIS: But he's got a comical look to him, like a sort of...just laying there, on the mud.

CATHERINE: I know.

You almost feel sorry for him.

CATHERINE: What do you want for this?

Well, I was gonna ask you 40, but then I thought maybe 30, and then I thought probably better to ask you 20, seeing as you're in... CATHERINE: ..dire straits!

CHRIS: ..a needy position.

10 is good.

15 and we'd have a deal.

10 and we have a really good deal, Chris.

Oh, go on, then - £10, you can have him.

Yes!

CATHERINE: I think Philip would like that, actually.

He likes a bit of wood.

CHRIS: It maybe looks like him on a hot day, wouldn't it?

VO: Rude!

So that's three auction lots in the one store, but far from being content, our girl just can't help thinking about the Lalique that got away.

CATHERINE: I don't know what to do.

You've spent, what, £35 out here?

So if we was to say...£150 on the lot?

VO: Right, then.

We're down to £115 for the dish, Catherine.

What's it to be?

Shall we go and have another one more look at it?

We'll have another look at it.

CHRIS: Come on, Charlie boy.

Come on, Charlie.

Two barks for yes - one for no.

That's it.

Oh, this is...this is...this is hard.

This is hard.

This is hard, isn't it?

Because I need to spend a lot of money.

Right, I'm going, before I...

I'm gonna crack up.

VO: But one wag and 3½ seconds later...

This is my proposition to you - £135 for everything.

CATHERINE: That's pretty good.

Hm.

£140 and we'll do a deal.

That's another fiver.

Wish me luck!

Good luck.

I think you'll do alright on it, I think you will.

I hope so.

I hope you do, anyway, or it'll make me look bad!

VO: How sweet!

Now, we have the magic lantern slides, the paperweight, the hippo and the Lalique dish.

VO: What more could a girl ask for?

Oh, Chris.

Chris!

CHRIS: Yes?

CATHERINE: You know that grouse pâté thing we looked at?

CHRIS: Right... CATHERINE: How much did you say that was?

£10 I can do that for.

CATHERINE: £10... As we've done quite a lot of business here...

Right... Can we go a bit lower on that one?

How's a fiver then?

How's a pound?

Seeing as you've bought everything...go on, then.

CATHERINE: A pound?

CHRIS: A pound'll do it.

CATHERINE: There we are.

CHRIS: Thank you very much.

CHRIS: Thank you.

CATHERINE: I love it here.

VO: Even though he has much to do on the shopping front, Philip's off to Whithorn... VO: ..a town famous for being the final resting place of Scotland's first saint - St Ninian.

VO: Despite the common belief that Christianity first arrived on Scottish shores during the 5th century on the island of Iona, a century earlier, it was actually St Ninian who founded the first Christian community right here in Whithorn.

VO: Since then, kings and commoners alike have made many a pilgrimage to this very spot, and now it's Philip's turn, as he pays a visit to the Whithorn Priory & Museum.

You must be Gary.

GARY: Hello.

How are you?

You alright?

Blimey, this is something else, isn't it?

GARY: It is - one of the finest collections of carved stone in Scotland.

VO: Amongst the unique collection of sculpted stone and grave markers, some of which are up to 1,500 years old, is the Latinus Stone.

Dating back to 450AD, this Christian memorial confirms Whithorn as Scotland's first Christian community.

PHILIP: This is the oldest lump of stone.... GARY: It's the oldest Christian stone, yeah.

PHILIP: That's fantastic.

It may look very faded but in actual fact, we can read it really well.

PHILIP: Go on, then.

GARY: "We praise you, the Lord!

Latinus, descendant of Barravados, aged 35, and his daughter, aged four, made a sign here."

What does it say in Latin?

Oh, I don't speak Latin... Shall I tell you what it says?

It's a dead language.

Let me see if I can remember it.

"Teo Dominum... Laudamus...Latinus...Annorum..." Sorry, it's the back; I can't quite read that bit!

Come on, show me the next bit.

PHILIP: What a fake!

What a fraud!

VO: What a wag!

VO: While the Latinus Stone started as a memorial, it ended up part of the walls of Whithorn's mediaeval cathedral, which used to house St Ninian's remains.

Today, only the underground crypt is still intact.

GARY: This was a massive cathedral, served the whole of southwest of Scotland.

It was where the bishops of Galloway sat.

GARY: There's not an awful lot left of it.

GARY: These are the bishops' graves, and these were discovered...above your head.

Above our head?!

Graves?!

There's burials below you and burials above you.

PHILIP: So, like, we're in the middle of a graveyard - literally in the middle of a graveyard.

Smack bang in the middle.

VO: As for St Ninian himself, his remains have mysteriously gone missing.

PHILIP: So you've never found sort of Ninian's tomb or anything like that?

There is only, basically, an arm bone left.

He'd been worn away to an arm bone!

GARY: James IV commissioned a reliquary to hold the arm bone, and it stayed here until the Reformation, and then this bejeweled box was then taken to France, for safety, where, as far as we know, it was safe, until the French Revolution.

And after that... VO: While Philip explores 16 centuries of Christian history, a few streets away, Catherine's facing a dilemma - quit while she's ahead, or just buy one teensy-weensy little extra item.

CATHERINE: This is fab.

This could be used as something to really annoy... ..my driving partner.

Or it could be used as it's supposed to be used, which is a pickle fork.

Isn't it fab?

It's 1930s; it's guilloche enamel, which is engine-turned.

And it's this lovely pale blue, which is very typical of that period, 1930s.

I think that's really, really nice.

CATHERINE: What's the price?

£12...

But it's dead posh, this.

I really like it.

I'm gonna have a little think about that.

VO: With £100 in the kitty, a posh pickle grabber isn't going to break the bank, but an hour later, Catherine still isn't sure what to do.

CATHERINE: Oh, I'm seeing lots of lovely things here.

This is not good!

I'm having such an indecisive day today.

VO: Well, you do, don't do you?

Glen's best price on the pickle grabber is £9.

Could we go down a bit more, if I tease you?

GLEN: Yes.

CATHERINE: We can?!

We can go to eight, yes.

We can go to eight?

Absolutely.

VO: Finally we have a deal.

Or do we?

If you could just put it on the one side for me, £8, and I'm gonna think on that one.

Catherine!

Oh!

About time!

I am freezing, Philip!

CATHERINE: I wish this thing had a heater.

CATHERINE: Oh!

Let's get it going.

VO: Ah, well.

Still, a good day shopping.

And there's just enough time left to enjoy the bonnie Scottish summer!

VO: With the sun absolutely nowhere in sight, our intrepid duo are once again touring the B roads of Scotland.

CATHERINE: Right, today I want you to just buy pretty, lovely things.

Moi?

Do pretty?

Yeah.

VO: So far this leg, Philip's off to a rather slow start.

He's only spent £50, and still has another £390 hiding in a wallet that seldom sees daylight.

Do me a favor.

What?

Don't buy anything that you're gonna make into a table.

VO: Catherine, on the other hand is a woman possessed.

She spent £141, has five auction lots ready to go, and still has a pickle grabber on hold, which leaves her £108 in the kitty.

CATHERINE: Gretna Green!

When we're at Gretna Green, should we go and get married?

VO: Hm.

Bigamy.

VO: After the ceremony, Philip and Catherine's next stop is the small market town of Castle Douglas.

CATHERINE: So what do we know about Castle Douglas?

PHILIP: It's a castle where Douglas lives!

VO: Actually, it was founded in 1792, by a very wealthy descendant of the Douglas clan, and its layout is based on Edinburgh's New Town, although, despite the name, there isn't a castle in sight.

PHILIP: I'm conscious that I've got a lot of money to spend... CATHERINE: So spend it, Philip.

Break the habit of a lifetime.

VO: Following Catherine's advice, Philip's off to the high street.

PHILIP: Morning.

Am I alright to have a look round?

ANNE: Yes, please do.

PHILIP: A lady with a duster - that's a dangerous thing, isn't it?!

ANNE: Very necessary in here!

VO: So as Anne continues to dust her knick-knacks, Philip's search for the daft and the different continues.

What will he come up with today?

PHILIP: This is a very simple cutlery box or cutlery tray or knife tray.

And this looks like it's made out of mahogany, and it's probably about 18...65, 1870.

And it's a plain Jane.

If there was a beauty pageant, this would not be a winner.

PHILIP: The thing is, I think in this business you've gotta think laterally.

You put a bottle of wine in there, and then it becomes a wine carrier to your table.

What a cool thing that is then.

And that's what people do with these, because, you know, a Georgian wine carrier is worth hundreds or thousands of pounds if it's a really, really seriously good one.

VO: He's not just a pretty face, you know.

But can he get a deal from Anne of the duster?

ANNE: Well, the lowest I could go would be 30.

Can you meet me halfway and I'll have it?

£25 and I'll have it off you.

Right.

Is that alright?

Yes.

Yes.

You're an angel.

Thank you so much.

But do I get two bottles of wine with it as well?

Oh... Don't push your luck!

Well, it's a fair request, isn't it?

That's a very fair request.

Well, if you'd like to get them, I'll put them in for you.

No, but I know what I am gonna do.

VO: No, he's not off to the pub - he's off on the scrounge, at the restaurant across the road.

Chancing it a bit, really, I know.

CARLO: Hello.

PHILIP: Hello.

How are you?

Good, good.

PHILIP: You must be Carlo.

Yes, pleased to meet you, sir.

Carlo, I'm after a favor.

Yes, of course.

And I wonder if I could scrounge two empty wine bottles off you.

Yes, that'll be no problem.

Have you got any here I could try?

Absolutely.

What a good man he is!

May be too big.

Might have to get you something smaller...

Perfect.

Look at that!

Absolutely perfect.

Look at that!

Now there you are - that's what I call a wine bottle carrier.

CARLO: That used to be a really good wine.

Somebody drank it, unfortunately!

Really, you've been an absolute star.

You're welcome.

Thank you.

Thank you, my love.

You've been an absolute angel.

Take care.

See you soon.

Bye.

Bye bye.

Hurry back.

VO: What a smoothie!

VO: Just six miles down the road, Catherine's popped into the small but busy town of Dalbeattie, which, despite its size, boasts its own museum, representing more than 300 years of local history.

And this eclectic collection was put together by a much loved local - 75 year old Tommy Henderson.

Hello.

Are you coming in for a wee look?

Wonderful!

I'm Catherine.

Hello.

I'm Tommy Henderson.

Hello, Tommy.

Thank you very much.

Chairman and the man responsible for this place.

Are you?

I am.

It was dream come true.

CATHERINE: Did you start..?

TOMMY: Yeah, I started it 25 years ago.

CATHERINE: What kind of drove you?

TOMMY: I was a collector of objets d'art, and my wife's cupboards were getting too full... CATHERINE: Right.

TOMMY: ..so I had to do something.

CATHERINE: Right.

And what you'll see through here is we've had it all been built by the volunteers.

CATHERINE: And the objects that you get, I should think are through...donations.

TOMMY: It's all donated, except this.

TOMMY: All the children get playing this.

CATHERINE: Very nice.

And all the children... Everybody that comes in, and all the... And they sit on my bear as well.

VO: Despite there being thousands of objects, not only does Tommy know each and every one intimately... TOMMY: You've got your butter pats here.... TOMMY: This is a shovel with the holes... And we don't forget our wee milk bottle.

VO: There's usually a story attached.

One of the very first items that was handed in was this washing machine here, by Mrs Wallach, across the road.

She found it in her outhouse.

We have since discovered that it's over 100 years old.

It's hard to believe it's still working.

Is it?!

(GASPS) Wow!

VO: And there's the Titanic exhibit, because as it turns out, the ship's first officer, William McMaster Murdoch, was a Dalbeattie man.

TOMMY: If you remember, in the last film, that's the gentleman they made look like a coward, and he... CATHERINE: And he was a local?

He lived 100 yards down the road.

Well, we know, for a fact, that he was our local hero, so his cousins took the paper...the film people to task, and we got a £5,000 apology, to say sorry to his family, for defamation of character.

CATHERINE: Really?

VO: And the apology letter takes pride of place in the collection.

CATHERINE: "In the minds and hearts of the filmmakers and audiences all over the world, Officer Murdoch is one of the film's most humane, selfless and sensitively drawn characters."

Thank you very much.

That is true.

That was our local hero.

CATHERINE: Mm-hm.

VO: For two decades now, Tommy has been sharing his passion for history with visitors from around the world, and in June 2009, his hard work was quite rightly recognized with the Queen's Award for Voluntary Services.

I didn't realize half the town had wrote in, to put me and the museum forward.

I had no idea.

TOMMY: It was the biggest surprise in my life, when the Lord Lieutenant walked in that door, and you could've picked me up off the floor.

Really?

That's the first recognition we've ever had in Dumfries and Galloway.

You must be so proud of that.

Very proud.

And so you should be, because it's wonderful and you're a wonderful, wonderful man.

CATHERINE: It's been a real pleasure and thank you very much for showing me round.

TOMMY: You've enjoyed it?

CATHERINE: Been tremendous.

VO: Back in Castle Douglas, Philip's happened upon another hidden gem, also known as A. D. Livingston & Sons, makers and restorers of fine furniture.

Mr Livingston, I presume.

I've never hard that before!

No, I'm sure you wouldn't have done!

VO: But at least he's not called Stanley.

PHILIP: How much is your lacquered chair?

That?

Eh, £145.

PHILIP: 145.

DEALER: I have a pair.

PHILIP: You have a pair of them?

There's another one up there.

And how much is that?

That...that'd be 120.

PHILIP: Really?

Aye.

VO: Well, it's a fair price.

But did we mention Philip's looking to spend around...£5?

PHILIP: Tell you what, if you're as good at restoration as you are on pricing stuff, you're gonna make a fortune, you are!

There's 5p on the floor!

I'll toss you for it.

DEALER: It's superglued down.

PHILIP: Oh!

PHILIP: These things are fantastic, aren't they?

DEALER: Came out of a decorator's... old style decorator's workshop in Dumfries.

DEALER: Either for creating a scumble effect on, you know, painted doors and the like, or perhaps for creating, you know, wallpaper in situ.

I'm not 100% sure.

A scumbled effect is when you've got a pine paneling in a house, and you would paint it, and you would r...well, actually, this is cheating a bit...you'd roll these up, to make it look like it's grained oak.

DEALER: Yes.

Precisely.

But the real skill is to hand paint it, isn't it?

PHILIP: It's all down to money, isn't it?

DEALER: Well, of course.

It's the point of the exercise.

Well, how much you got them priced up at?

DEALER: Well, the whole lot is £45.

PHILIP: Yeah, but can you do a deal on that?

A deal...deal on...well... Kind of like...cuz that's sort of, like... Look... Let's have a quiet word and explain the way this works... Now, now what happens is, right, you have them priced there at £45, and then you give its best price, and it sort of comes down a bit.

DEALER: Yeah.

Sure.

That's my best price.

PHILIP: Is it?

And it's a very good price.

However, what would I...what would I let you have them..?

I c...

I'd let you have the set for 35.

30 quid wouldn't buy them, or would it?

DEALER: Are you offering me 30 quid?

PHILIP: Yeah.

DEALER: OK. PHILIP: Done?

DEALER: Yeah.

PHILIP: Gentleman.

DEALER: Thank you.

I like those.

VO: Just as well, because with that, it's tatty-bye to Castle Douglas, although just a few miles down the road, Catherine has a sudden epiphany.

CATHERINE: I keep thinking about the pickle fork that I saw yesterday, and it's just one of those things that I just...I've got to have it.

VO: I knew she'd go back for it.

All that fuss, and she got it for £8.

I ask you!

Our next stop is Dumfries, affectionately known as the Queen of the South.

It's an ancient town with a turbulent history.

It's been plundered and occupied by the English on at least six separate occasions; it's been party to witch burnings; and it was the site of Scotland's last public hanging, in 1868.

VO: But not to worry - it also has some frightfully nice shops.

PHILIP: Help!

Once you do finally get inside, there's plenty to see, but what Philip is instantly drawn to is the trench art, and so he's getting ready to work his infinite charm on Robert.

PHILIP: Can I...can I have a look, please?

PHILIP: I mean, I think this is just, sort of hugely emotional, really.

It's called trench art cuz they did it in the trenches.

But normally, it's the metalware from shell cases, isn't it?

ROBERT: Yes.

PHILIP: And I mean, indeed, you've got one there.

Look at that.

I mean, that's the bullet out of a rifle.

ROBERT: Yeah.

That's a nice, interesting one.

Cuz it's got the dreadnought, which was the early metal warship; the canon; and the airship, the zeppelin, the airship.

ROBERT: People hadn't really seen them before the war.

And that's fascinating, look, because that's made out of a bullet, and this is probably part of a shell case.

Yep, yep.

Just whatever they could get their hands on, and then they just worked away.

ROBERT: Of course, the significance of the date - the soldier knew that the war started in 1914... PHILIP: But that's when he did it - 1917.

ROBERT: That's when he... that's when he did it, in 1917.

He didn't know when the war was going to end.

It raises the hair on the back of the neck, doesn't it?

PHILIP: It does.

It just brings a bit of a lump to your throat.

Yeah.

PHILIP: I like that one.

And it's dated 1916 on the back.

PHILIP: If you think, that the guy who made that in 1916, perhaps for a Christmas present or...for someone... ROBERT: Yep.

He could've been dead a month later, couldn't he?

Absolutely.

Oh...dear me.

It all comes down to the one thing now, doesn't it?

Absolutely.

PHILIP: What's the best you can do on two, if I have them both?

What's the very best?

How...how does 32 sound?

PHILIP: It's too hard for me, that is.

25'd sound a lot better.

Make it 30 and we've got a deal.

Well, d'you know, I'm not gonna haggle with you - I love them so much.

Thank you very much.

ROBERT: OK.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well, that's me sorted, and I'm really quite pleased about that.

VO: Good, well we're pleased, now you're pleased, because, young Philip, it's time to reveal to each other what you've both bought.

CATHERINE: These are... PHILIP: Yeah?

CATHERINE: ..lantern slides.

Now, what we have here are things that are extinct or dinosaurs - pterodactyls, your triceratops, really interesting.

50 pence a plate.

No - I paid 20 quid for those.

CATHERINE: You next.

Oh, my word!

That sums you up in a nutshell, really, isn't it?

Is that good or bad?

What I like about it is it's actually really nicely made, isn't it?

PHILIP: Yeah.

But every time you pick the base up, another bit falls off it.

PHILIP: You know, and... CATHERINE: How much did you pay?

PHILIP: £25.

It's just one of those things that could bomb.

Sorry.

OK. Let's have a look at the next one.

CATHERINE: Move on?

PHILIP: Yeah.

Now, this...I went all soppy.

Look at my hippo!

PHILIP: Right.

CATHERINE: Isn't he just a dream?

It's funny, cuz people collect hippos, and I know a man who collects hippos.

Well, could you tell him to come and buy this?

No, I shall tell him after the auction.

Well, we've come to Scotland, so I thought...I've gotta buy Mauchlineware.

And I know that it's sad, boring and dull.

I mean, what I love about this is this one here, look - "From a Friend".

I was going to give you that, because it's "From a Friend".

CATHERINE: Were you?!

PHILIP: Yeah.

PHILIP: And I paid £25 for the two.

CATHERINE: I'm not that excited about that, but there you go.

Well, thanks for that!

CATHERINE: OK, next... PHILIP: Oh, my... CATHERINE: What d'you think?

Is that 1970s?

No - 50s.

I think that's 1960s or 70s.

If you went to a shop in Bond Street to buy that, it would probably cost you between £600 and £900.

Possibly more.

But Carlisle's not Bond Street, so in auction, on a good day, it's £200-£300.

CATHERINE: I hope you're right.

PHILIP: Now, you know I'm always into this lateral thinking game, don't you?

CATHERINE: Yep.

That is a knife box, isn't it?

Lovely.

And it's now become a wine carrier.

I'm not convinced on that, Philip.

Come on, let's have a look at your next one, then.

Now this is a section of the transatlantic cable.

I'm overwhelmed.

What I particularly like is this plastic base.

Are you interested in this or not?

No, honestly, I am, yes.

CATHERINE: Because I think it's brilliant.

CATHERINE: How much d'you reckon I paid for that?

I'd hate to think, really.

It's dreadful, Catherine.

Why?!

Well, it's a piece of plastic, with a bit of blooming telephone wire shoved on the top of it.

I can't believe you.

PHILIP: Now, if you want to talk interesting, look at that.

Now, I've got a box full of these things.

Some sort of roller.

I think that is superb.

CATHERINE: How much did you pay for them?

30 quid, the lot.

CATHERINE: Brilliant.

PHILIP: Yeah.

But is that commercial?

Who's gonna buy them?

PHILIP: Don't know.

Well, hold on just one minute...

Please!

I'm gonna move on, before you just... PHILIP: Oh, a jelly mold.

I love jelly molds.

CATHERINE: It's not a jelly mold.

What is it?

CATHERINE: A pâté mold.

PHILIP: What did you pay for that?

CATHERINE: A pound.

Do you sleep at night?

CATHERINE: I just had to get this.

Oh, is that a pickled onion grabber?

CATHERINE: It's brilliant, isn't it?

PHILIP: Yeah, fantastic, that is.

PHILIP: I love those.

How much was that?

Another pound?

No, that was eight.

PHILIP: Well, this is my last lot, and this is a matchbox cover... Nice.

..that someone made in the First World War, and this is...there's the shell, there's the...the bullet... CATHERINE: Right, OK. PHILIP: And it's a paperknife... CATHERINE: How much did you pay for those two?

30 quid.

CATHERINE: I think you done well.

Eh...

If you get an amber necklace, you would look like a set of traffic lights, you know.

VO: Oh!

Something tells me the Philip and Catherine mutual admiration society is about to shut up shop!

PHILIP: Quite what the under-blooming-water, copper, cable thing is about.

Only Catherine could do that.

CATHERINE: Now he's making a knife box into a wine carrier.

Nah.

Doesn't wash with me, Phil.

PHILIP: She's put all of her eggs into one very French Lalique basket.

PHILIP: That could make a three-figure profit, and if it does, you know, then me trousers could be down around me ankles, really.

This auction's gonna be interesting, because I think I've got some great pieces against him.

Let's just hope that she's incredibly unlucky.

VO: After starting off in Glenluce, our hero and heroine are ending this leg of their road trip in the good town of Carlisle.

Yes, that's right - we've crossed the border.

CATHERINE: I mean, Scotland could've been the place where you excelled, and now it could be up to me.

PHILIP: Really?

CATHERINE: Probably won't be, but... PHILIP: The left-hand pedal's the clutch.

CATHERINE: I do know that!

VO: Now, as you may well know, Carlisle was once a Roman settlement, established to serve the forts on Hadrian's Wall.

But today it's the scene of an epic battle, taking place at the H&H Auction Rooms.

CATHERINE: Here we are.

This is where it all changes, Philip.

PHILIP: Well, here we go.

Over the top.

CATHERINE: Wait for me!

Come on, my love.

Bring it on!

VO: That's the spirit!

Though before we let the bidders off the leash, let's see how auctioneer Georgina Nixon rates the unusual items submitted by our experts.

GEORGINA: Wool winders are not obviously the most desirable of all scientific instruments, but they are quite interesting.

GEORGINA: It does have a bit of damage, so if you're after a wool winder, that may be not the wool winder of your dreams, that particular one.

GEORGINA: The pickle grabber's quite interesting, although it's unusual to pair it together with the pâté mold.

It looks like the start of a really interesting party, I think!

GEORGINA: The unusual items, such as the hippo, I think that's a really fun thing.

Somebody should fall in love with that today as well.

VO: Philip started this leg with £442.36, and has since spent £135 on five auction lots.

Look at that!

VO: As for Catherine, she began with £249.38 and parted with £149, also for five auction lots.

VO: But it all comes down to these good people.

Let the auction begin!

VO: First up, it's Catherine's magic lantern slides.

Let's hope they really do work a little magic!

Wish me luck.

Very nice.

They've got dinosaurs on them.

Dinosaurs!

Dinosaurs!

GEORGINA: What more could you want?

GEORGINA: Anyone?

£5 for a start.

£5 on the magic lanterns.

GEORGINA: Five.

Eight.

10.

CATHERINE: Keep going!

GEORGINA: 15.

18.

20.

CATHERINE: Yes!

My God, that is a result.

22.

Are we all done at 22?

VO: Oh, dear!

A £2 profit.

That won't even cover the commission.

What did you say, Philip Serrell?

£5?

I don't know what you're getting excited about - I think they've just lost you money, haven't they?

Yeah, they actually have!

VO: On to Philip's Mauchlineware now.

Can this Scottish classic excite the English?

Let's find out.

Ooh...lots of bids.

Lots of bids?

GEORGINA: Will we start the bidding with me at..?

Oh, come on!

£30 with me.

£30 with me £30 with me.

GEORGINA: Are we all done at £30?

VO: Yes, I think they are!

You'll regret it.

No, you won't!

PHILIP: Yes, you will!

How could you regret that?!

VO: Now, while this ebony hippo tends to raise a smile, for some reason, Catherine's frowning.

I'm a bit concerned that my beautiful hippo... Yeah.

..follows an electric golf trolley.

Lots of bids on the book.

Lots of bids on the book!

Lots of bids on the book!

VO: Well, that's cheered her up!

GEORGINA: 32.

£32 in the black.

Selling at £32 with me.

VO: That's £22 profit, before auction costs.

Looks like Catherine's back on form.

VO: And just as well - her pâté mold and infamous pickle grabber are next.

Oh, my heart's beating.

Oh...!

GEORGINA: £8 with me.

Come on.

GEORGINA: Eight.

10.

12.

14.

15.

Come on.

£18 at the front.

18.

20.

This seems cheap.

I think they want the pickle thing.

It's very cheap.

GEORGINA: £20 at the back.

Are we all done?

VO: She's doubled her money!

And I think someone's a little jealous.

20 quid for a blooming broken jelly lid?

VO: Philip's trench art now, and naturally, he's hoping the bidders of Carlisle share his keen interest in World War I.

£22 with me.

25.

28.

£32 at the back.

GEORGINA: Are we all done at 32?

VO: Oh, dear.

Not quite the runaway profit Philip was hoping for.

In fact, after commission, it's a loss.

Mental note - "Don't be such a soppy old fool!"

VO: On to Philip's Georgian wine carrier, which can also be described as... Two empty wine bottles in a box.

Anyone?

£5 for a start.

"Anyone?"!

PHILIP: Ouch!

GEORGINA: £5?

Eight.

10.

12.

15.

VO: Well, someone likes what she sees.

GEORGINA: 20.

CATHERINE: (GASPS) £20 at the front.

VO: But not quite enough.

Philip's made another loss.

PHILIP: Catherine, that's not very nice, you're laughing.

You are revealing a slightly darker side to your character.

CATHERINE: Oh?

PHILIP: I'm not sure I like it.

Oh!

VO: Next, the auction lot Philip was quick to laugh at.

It's Catherine's little piece of transatlantic cable.

£5 for a start.

£5 at the front.

GEORGINA: Eight.

10.

12.

15.

PHILIP: That's done well, hasn't it?

I'm staggered.

GEORGINA: £15 at the very front.

Come on, keep going!

GEORGINA: 18.

20.

22.

25.

28.

Well done you, Fluff!

CATHERINE: He's nodding.

GEORGINA: 32.

CATHERINE: He's nodding.

Are we all done at £32?

CATHERINE: Good man.

Good man.

VO: That's a £27 profit.

Now who's laughing, Philip?

I'm getting my bottom smacked here.

VO: Let's not go there, shall we?!

So moving right along - ha!

- it's Philip's rollers.

£60 with me.

GEORGINA: £60 with me.

CATHERINE: £60!

GEORGINA: £60 with me.

And selling.

VO: And just like that, the old dog fox is back!

VO: Now, while many parts from his wool winder have dropped off, apparently there's still just enough to go to auction.

Lots of bids on the book.

With me at £80.

GEORGINA: This seems cheap.

No.

GEORGINA: £80.

85 at the very back.

Are we all done at 85?

VO: He's £60 up, before commission.

Seriously, how does he do it?!

So now, it's down to your bowl, isn't it?

VO: This Lalique dish has caused Catherine at least one sleepless night so far.

But can it change her fortunes?

Oh, I feel...

I'm getting really nervous.

I've got goose pimples.

GEORGINA: Probably what you've been waiting for - it's the Lalique dish.

£5 for a start.

CATHERINE: Five?!

GEORGINA: £5 to my right.

I'm sorry - did she just say £5?

GEORGINA: Eight.

VO: Oh, dear - someone fetch Catherine a sweet sherry, quick!

I think she's gonna need it!

35.

I can't listen to this.

50.

Wha..?

60.

75.

£80 at the very back.

This is just a joke.

GEORGINA: Are we all done at £80?

CATHERINE: No way.

85.

90.

Come on!

GEORGINA: Are we all done at £90?

VO: And I'm afraid that is a loss.

CATHERINE: I can't believe that.

That is just a joke.

That's a joke.

That is a joke.

That is the biggest joke of the auction.

VO: Catherine started this leg with £249.38, and after auction costs, has made a profit of £11.72, giving her £261.10 to spend tomorrow.

VO: Meanwhile, Philip started with £442.36, and after auction costs, he's up £51.14, which means the lead is still his, with £493.50 in the kitty.

CATHERINE: I thought... PHILIP: It really wasn't that bad, you know.

Oh, it was!

How can you say it wasn't that bad?

It was awful!

Well, I think...

Honestly...

It was tragic!

PHILIP: I am sure you'll be back with a vengeance.

CATHERINE: No, I think I've lost it now.

PHILIP: Is this gonna cost me a very large drink?

CATHERINE: The largest you've ever bought, Philip.

PHILIP: Really?

CATHERINE: Oh...!

VO: Next time on the Antiques Road Trip, we're all at sea in the Lake District, where Catherine's risking it all.

I'm gonna live dangerously!

Are you?!

VO: Philip's using his sex appeal.

Oh, you're an angel!

You're an angel!

VO: And the gloves are coming off.

Actually, that could be a very young Phil Serrell!

CATHERINE: If he comes in here, please don't mention that!

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